The Joker Chronicles
by magictrick
Summary: When the Joker breaks out of prison, he realizes that what Gotham needs is a little reality check. Starting with its newest star. Not for fans of Disney network shows. Seriously. The more you review, the sooner I'll update!
1. Breakout

Hey everyone! I saw the Dark Knight and fell in love with the Joker. Please review!! I will update if I get reviews!

Disclaimer: I do not own any Batman characters, Hannah Montana characters, or any other Disney related characters

Breakout

This was not Mark Patterson's day. He had just spent the entire afternoon organizing his 15-year-old client's trip to New York only to discover that she had changed her mind and would he please schedule 5 performances in Gotham by Tuesday? After spending the rest of his workday making frantic phone calls to the Gotham Performance Center, he was able to secure a week for his client. Not bad for giving the city a week's notice, but hey, his client was very much in demand.

Mark glanced at his watch as he walked out of his bright, warm office into the cold, wet streets of the city: 12 a.m. He shivered and popped the edges of his collar up around his ears. This was not the neighborhood to be walking through in the middle of the night, but Mark did not care. He couldn't wait to get back to his newly refurbished condo and open a bottle of the most expensive stuff he owned. The agent's mind began to wander as he thought of the pleasures of home, and he did not notice that the light at the crosswalk had changed to the stop motion. Mark stepped into the street only to be forcefully pulled back from the curb. The force of the pull caused him to fall backwards as a truck, horn blaring, roared through the spot that Mark had so recently occupied.

"Th…th…thanks," Mark stuttered, glancing around for his savior.

"No…problem," a voice rasped from the dark alley behind him.

Mark quickly got to his feet and brushed himself off. As he looked down, he saw a copy of the day's newspaper. The headline screamed: Breakout At Arkham! Mark ignored his impulse to pick up the paper and turned instead toward his rescuer.

"I can't believe that! I mean, woosh! It was so…" Mark babbled as he walked towards the voice, "I can't thank you enough, there must be something I can do to thank you."

A strangled sound, almost like suppressed laughter, came from the alley, "No. I don't think that _you_ could do anything for me."

"Oh, no, you see," Mark brushed his expensive coat again in a casual gesture and walked further into the alley, "I have some connections with some pretty high people. In fact, one of my client's has a show booked for next week. I could hook you up with some tickets or—"

A gloved hand closed around his throat and he could feel the cold blade of a knife pressed to his mouth."

"How about," the voice said, "A backstage pass?"  
Mark gasped for air as the glove tightened its grip. The cell phone in his pocket began to ring, and the light from its screen illuminated the alley. Mark's scream was muffled by his gloved captor, but his face shone with horror as he recognized the man holding him.

The man's smiling face, stretched wider by the gruesome scars that protruded from the sides of his mouth, was covered in greasy white make-up and his bright eyes were circled in black.

"Good," the Joker said, cracking his neck, "I see no…introductions are in order."

Mark struggled to break the Joker's hold, but the knife cut his lip as he did so.

"Ah, ah, ah," Joker chided, "You wouldn't want to go around looking like me, would you?"

Mark shook his head. The Joker frowned, "Don't you like the scars? I think you just might have hurt my feelings."

Mark quaked as Joker pressed the knife even harder onto his cheek. Joker smiled, "Do you wanna know how I got these scars?"

Mark's eyes widened in terror and the Joker chuckled in pleasure, "Maybe later then. Now, back to business. Your client…that _girl_…she's coming here next week to bring a little spirit back into Gotham?"

Joker drew blood from Mark's throat when he did not respond, "You see all of this?" Joker gestured to the empty streets, "Do you know _why_ people don't go out at night here?"

Mark shook his head slightly. Joker grinned and pointed to himself proudly, "You see, I have a, uh, _reputation_ to keep up. And I can't have some teenage brat ruining it for me."

Joker slipped his hand into Mark's pocket and removed his phone and schedule book, "So you see where we," he gestured from himself to Mark, "have a little problem. I can't let you let her perform."

Mark managed to free his mouth, cutting himself in the process, "Batman…Batman will stop—"

Joker's smile broadened at the mention of Batman, "Oh yes, I'm counting on a visit from my, uh, old friend."

He released Mark's throat, and the agent collapsed on the ground. Joker knelt next to him, "But you know what? It looks like you're not on the guest list." With a flick of his wrist, Joker slid the knife across Mark's throat.

Mark's hands slid to the gaping hole in his neck, but even then his vision was fading to black. Joker watched Mark's struggles with some amusement before letting out a short bark of laughter and finishing the job.

The only sounds that could be heard now were the drip of blood on concrete and the slow swipes of Joker cleaning his knife on his purple coat as he strolled out of the ally.

"Oh yes," he cackled, smiling down at his picture in the paper, "Things are about to get very…fun."


	2. Fly With Me

Fly With Me

"Daddy," whined Miley Cyrus as she sprawled across the couch in her personal jet, "The flight attendant hasn't brought my latte yet, and I asked her, like, 5 minutes ago to bring me one!"

"Chill Miles," said a skinny girl wearing a bright blue wig.

Miley glared at her. "I mean Hannah," Lilly corrected quickly.

"Lilly. How many times do I have to tell you," drawled Miley, "When I'm in the wig, I'm Hannah. Got that?"

Lilly rolled her eyes at Oliver who was sitting across from her and continued listening to her ipod. Miley pouted for another second, and then she kicked her father's seat.

"Daddy!"

"Wha…?" mumbled Billy Ray as he was rudely awoken by his daughter's complaints.

"Latte!"

"Oh," Billy Ray stumbled to his feet and walked over to the flight attendant, "Now my little girl ordered a latte. I suggest you bring her one."

The flight attendant widened her eyes, "But sir, I told her, we don't serve lattes!"

"She's lying!" Miley said walking over to the attendant, "Listen…" She looked at the flight attendant's badge, "_Brenda_. Do you know who I am? I'm America's freakin' sweetheart! Now I want a latte!"

Billy Ray glanced at Brenda, "I'll handle this." He turned to Miley, "Hannah darlin', if you let this one go, I'll let you and Lilly take my credit card to Santa Monica when we get back home, ok?"

Miley smiled sweetly, "Oh, of course daddy. Anything you say!" She skipped back over to Lilly.

"Ain't she the sweetest thing?" Billy Ray sighed to the attendant.

"Adorable," Brenda muttered.

"Why are we doing this again?" whined Miley, tugging on her blond wig.

"Doing what?" asked Lilly.

"Going to _Gotham_," Miley spat out the name of the city.

"For the love of god," groaned Jackson, who was lounging in the back of the plane, "We've gone over this like a million times."

"Gotham would be a great publicity move for us," said Billy Ray, pouring himself a drink, "You know 'Hannah Helps Bring Hope to Struggling City' and all that jazz. Plus, we're about due to check up on Mr. Patterson. That agent needs to be reminded just who he works for."

"Yeah," Miley said, rolling her eyes, "Like, what's so hard about arranging a concert with a weeks notice. He's just lazy."

"Whoa, look at this," said Oliver, picking up that day's issue of the Gotham Times. A picture of the Joker was plastered across the front page underneath the headline "Joker Still At Large!"

"You made page two of the Gotham Times!"

"What?!" shrieked Miley, "Why aren't I on page one?!"

"It looks like this dude's attracting more press," Oliver said, gesturing to the front page.

"Gimme that!" Miley said.

As Miley and Oliver fought over the paper, Brenda's voice crackled over the intercom, "We are now beginning our descent into Gotham. Please remain seated for the remaining duration of the trip. Thank you."

Miley pushed Oliver away as the plane slowly began its descent. As she shook the paper open, a single playing card fell straight into Miley's lap.

Miley raised her eyebrows at the card and held it up to Oliver, "Oliver, keep your cards out of my stuff!"

"That's not mine!" protested Oliver as the plane bumped to the ground and slowed to a stop.

"Thank you for flying with us, Miss Montana," Brenda smiled sweetly.

"Whatever," said Miley, tossing the lone joker card to the ground as she exited the plane.

Joker watched Hannah toss the card to the ground from a black van parked outside of the landing strip. "Well, _somebody_ doesn't like presents," he said to one of his clown-masked assistants.

"Yeah, well, she's _Hannah Montana_," said one of the clowns.

Joker's mouth fell open in shock, "_No_! Really? Is that _really_ Hannah Montana?" He shot the clown and turned back to watch the teen climb into a limo. Joker unconsciously rubbed the hilt of his knife as the limo drove away.

When the car disappeared from sight, Joker rubbed his hands together and motioned for the driver to follow the limo, "Ok boys. Time to get to work."


	3. Secrets

Secrets

The night of Hannah's dress rehearsal was an endless blur of disasters. Costumes did not fit, the dancers were offbeat, and Hannah's endless stream of demands never stopped.

"You!" she shouted at a passing assistant, "Get me a smoothie!"

"You! This scarf is the ugliest thing I've ever seen in my life. Burn it!"

"You! Get my agent on the phone NOW!" Hannah slammed the door of her dressing room behind her and slumped before her giant mirror, "Why can't everyone just do what I ask of them?"

Hannah removed her wig, becoming Miley once more, "And this wig friggin' sucks."

With a slight creak, Miley's dressing room door opened and a man entered the room. Miley spun around, her wig clutched in her hands, and stared at the man. His blond hair waved crazily around his eyes that were now widened with shock, and one of his hands covered his mouth.

"GET OUT!" screamed Miley, throwing a bottle of perfume at the intruder, "You saw _nothing_, understand? Nothing!"

The man nodded, eyes wide, and stumbled out of the room, shutting the door behind him. As he walked away, he removed his hand from his face, revealing a scarred smile that stretched from ear to ear. The Joker could not believe his luck. Hannah Montana? A _fake_? It was almost too good to be true.

Joker skipped down the hallway humming slightly. He had known that Hannah was a good target from the moment he had overheard that pompous agent arguing with her on the phone last week.

With a little twirl, Joker grabbed the shoulder of a passing dancer and steered him into an empty dressing room.

"What the hell man," the dancer snarled, "I'm on in five!"

"Oh, don't you worry," the Joker said, licking his lips and facing the dancer, "I'm pretty sure they won't miss you…at all."

The dancer yelled at the sight of the clown's face, but Joker clamped a hand over the dancer's mouth.

"Now, now, now," Joker said sternly, "Do you _really_ wanna do that?"

In a flash, a knife was at the dancer's throat.

"I didn't think so," Joker chuckled, "Now, what would little, uh, dancer boy's name be, hm?"

"Chris," the dancer whimpered.

"Ok _Chris_. I'm Joker. Now we know each other. We're almost…like _friends_, you could say."

Chris's eyes widened as Joker pulled him closer.

"And friends do each other favors, right?"

Chris nodded slowly, not taking his eyes off Joker's blade.

"First favor. Information. When is _Hannah's_," Joker giggled, "final performance?"

"F…F…Friday," Chris gasped when the knife cut into his neck.

"Excellent. You're doing great. Second. How many people know about, uh, Miss _Montana's_ secret."

Chris's face contorted in confusion, and Joker could see that the dancer did not know anything about Hannah's "secret identity".

"Never mind. Then I need to ask another favor of you…Chris, and then I'll let you go do you're little thing."

Chris relaxed noticeably at the mention of his attacker's disappearance, and the Joker's smile widened until the tips of his scars were almost touching his ears.

"I need you," Joker said, his lips at Chris's ear, "to, uh, die."

Chris's face blanched and his eyes looked as if they would pop.

Joker frowned, "Why so serious?"


	4. Nobody's Perfect

Nobody's Perfect

"It's so much better 'cause you know you've got the best of both worlds!"

The fans went wild. They screamed and reached out to touch their favorite star. Onstage, Hannah smiled widely and waved.

"Thank you! Thank you! Y'all are the best audience we've had all week! Now, we got one more song for ya, so just sit tight!"

Hannah ran offstage to another avalanche of applause.

"God, this is probably the _worst_ concert I've ever done in my life!" she muttered to Lilly as she ripped off her costume and threw on her finale outfit.

"What are you talking about? It's a full house out there!" said Oliver, stuffing his face at the buffet.

Miley looked daggers at Oliver, "You wouldn't understand."

"Whatever, Miles. Oops! I mean _Hannah_," Jackson sniggered from Jackson's side.

"I didn't even need to let you come, so shut up Jackson!" Miley shouted as she pulled on her ridiculous high-heeled boots, "And remind me to kill whoever designed this wardrobe! Where are those dancers! Let's _go_!"

Hannah walked onstage, back to the audience, as she waited for the lights to come up for her final number. Her dancers silently lined up next to her. The music began to pump a techno sounding beat through the stadium, and the fans screamed in anticipation. A soft spotlight illuminated Hannah and her dancers. Hannah turned to face the crowd as the music crescendoed

"Everybody makes mistakes... Everybody has those days... 1 2 3 OH!"

Hannah screamed as the dancer to her left turned and slid a knife under her throat.

"Evening, Miss Montana," chuckled the dancer, bending Miley's head back so she could see her attacker.

Her eyes caught a glimpse of messy, green tinted hair and white makeup before she was forced to face the audience again. The crowd began to scream at the sight of their idol's situation. Joker grinned and nodded up to the rafters.

A ring of clown-masked accomplices circled the stadium, each armed with a powerful gun. One of the clowns shot a light, which exploded with sparks and silenced the crowd.

"Now that I…have your attention," the Joker dragged Hannah to the foot of the stage, "We can begin the show!"

Strangled yells came from backstage and Jackson, Lilly, Oliver, and Billy Ray were dragged onstage.


	5. I Might Even Be a Rock Star

Nobody's Perfect

"So, Hannah. Its come to my attention that you want to…what was it again? 'Pump Up the Party' in my city?"

Hannah did not respond; her eyes fixed on Joker's scars.

Joker cocked his head, "Don't you know who I am?"

Hannah shook her head slowly. Joker threw Hannah to one of his assistants. He swaggered over to the edge of the stage and held out his hands, "You mean, nobody warned you?"

He skipped back over to his hostages, "Ya see, I'm sort of a, uh, local celebrity myself."

Hannah narrowed her eyes, "You don't look like the type."

"Oh, but I am!" Joker giggled, sliding his knife through Hannah's wig. He paused, and then smiled even wider, "You know how I got these scars? I was a big fan of movies as a kid. You know, the funny ones. So one day, I'm comin' outta the theater and I see one of my idols, my heroes, swaying down the street. He was drunk, but I didn't know. So I follow him down an alley and run after him calling, 'Hey, mister! Can I have your autograph?'" Joker's face twisted in a sick smile, "When I caught up to him, he grabbed my shirt and threw me against the wall. 'You shouldn't talk to strangers, kid,' he says. Then he grabs a broken bottle and stumbles over to me. 'I love makin' people laugh, kid. Why ain't you laughing?' Then he sticks the bottle into my face, and, well…" Joker motioned to his scars.

Hannah's eyes were wide with horror.

"That day I learned that nobody's really who they pretend to be. Everyone is a fake, especially our heroes."

Joker did a little dance, "And that's the best part, really. You're about to prove my point. To all of them."

Joker let out a wild laugh as he pointed out to the worried and expectant faces of Hannah's fans.

"I don't even care about this stupid city! I never wanted to come here in the first place!" screamed Hannah.

The crowd gasped and took a step back from the stage. Joker began to convulse with laughter.

"C'mon, Hannah! You can do better than that! Really crush them," Joker stopped and turned on his heel back to Hannah, "Why don't you show them who you…really are."

"Never!" Hannah screamed.

Joker sighed and motioned to the clown holding Jackson. The clown pulled out a gun and shot him.

"NO!" screamed Hannah and Billy Ray.

"You're crazy!" Lilly cried.

Joker froze, and the smile slid off his face, "No…no, I…I'm not." He walked across the stage, grabbed a microphone, and pointed it at the crowd, "Am I crazy?"

The crowd was silent.

"I said," the Joker growled, "Am I crazy?!"

"No," Oliver said pushing his clown off him, "No! You're not! Please, you're right! Hannah's a fake! I don't care what you do! Just let me go!"

Hannah snarled at Oliver, but Joker smiled kindly at him, "Nobody likes a suck up."

He kicked Oliver in the stomach, then signaled for his guard to pull him back.

"I'm going…to give you til the end of my song to tell everyone who you are. The longer you wait, more of…your friends will die. I'm a man of my word."


	6. Best of Both Worlds

Hey everyone! Seriously, the more you review the more I'll update! Thanks to you who've already reviewed!

Best of Both Worlds

Joker brought the microphone to his lips, looked at Hannah with a smug expression, and began to sing in a raspy voice, "You get the limo out front, hottest styles every shoe, every color…"

As he sang, Joker pulled Hannah along with him, "…it's really you but no one ever discovers. Oh, and just a side note. This song defiantly gives you away, so, uh, nice job there."

Hannah squirmed as Joker tightened his grip on her arm, "Why do you even want me to tell them who I am? What do you gain?"

"…chillin' out take it slow, then you rock out the show. Nothing at all. I'm just sending a message," Joker winked, "Ahh, destroying the dreams of eight year olds."

"Hannah!" Lilly yelled, "Don't tell him! That's just what he wants! He'll just kill us anyway!"

Hannah looked sideways at Lilly, "If I tell them…"

Joker continued to sing but glanced at Hannah out of the corner of his eye.

"If I tell them, will you let me go?"

"…Mix it all together and you know that it's the best…let _you_ go?" Joker frowned, licking his lips, "What about your friends?"

Hannah glanced back and shrugged, "I never really liked Oliver anyway."

Joker stopped dancing and stared at Hannah, "You would sell them out?" He mouthed "wow" and kept singing, "Only one more verse left, Hannah! Let's up the stakes. If you, uh, _don't_ reveal yourself, I'll kill everyone in the audience."

The crowd began to scream in fear and the clowns surrounding them let off several warning shots until only Joker's singing echoed eerily around the arena.

"What about you? There are reporters in the audience!" yelled Hannah, "They're taping all of this!"

Joker paused again and a gleeful smile lit up his face, "Someone grab me a camera!"

A clown ripped a camera away from a terrified reporter and handed it up to Joker, whose knees buckled slightly at the size of the camera. Joker turned the camera to face him and grinned, "Good evening citizens of Gotham! I decided to drop in on a party that a friend of yours was having," Joker turned the camera to face Hannah, "C'mon, Miss Montana, let's put a smile on that face!"

Hannah frowned. "No?" Joker said in mock disappointment, "Well, me and Miss Montana have a little, uh, deal. If she does not reveal herself as a fake, I kill everyone in this stadium. That outta give you folks back home a kick."

Joker laughed and put the camera on the ground, "Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. It's so much better 'cause you know you've got the best of both worlds!"

The stadium was completely silent as Joker finished his song, "Times up, Hannah."

Joker skipped over and put his knife in her mouth, "Say it!"

Hannah shook her head. "Say it, and I'll let you go," Joker whispered.

Hannah hesitated for a second and then tore off her wig, "There! You happy!" She turned to face the crowd, "My name is Miley Stewart, not Hannah Montana! Now let me go!"

The crowd was still. Joker cracked his knuckles and knelt down next to the camera. "You see?" he whispered maliciously, "_Everyone_ is corruptible. This girl was willing to let her friends be killed in order for her to be set free. Well. I won't go back on my word."

Joker turned off the camera and walked over to the remaining hostages, "You're free to go Miss Stewart."

Miley stared, "I'm free? But what about everyone else? My friends?"  
Joker took out his knife, "Oh, the audience is free to go. Your friends however…"

Miley hesitated, then ran offstage.

"You heard me!" boomed Joker, "Get out of here!"

The clowns opened the doors, and the crowd stampeded out.

"Please! Please!" Oliver begged, "I read all about you in the paper! I admire you! I really do! I want to join you! I want to—"

Joker clamped a hand over Oliver's mouth and cocked his head, "Now, I thought I talked to you about that brownnosing problem."

He put his knife in Oliver's mouth, "You really admire me kid? Then you have to look like me." He jerked the knife,

"Oops," Joker giggled as Oliver's lifeless body fell to the ground.

"So, Mr. Stewart. _Lovely _daughter you have," Joker said, tossing his knife from hand to hand.

"She gets it from her mother."

"Oh! I almost forgot!" said Joker, "I didn't tell my, uh, friends backstage to let anyone but _Hannah Montana _leave. And since she never existed in the first place…"

A clown dragged Miley back onstage, "This one was trying to escape!"

"You lying son of a--!" started Miley.

"Language!" said Joker, clamping a hand over her mouth, "Now, tie them all together."

The clowns tied Lilly, Billy Ray, and Miley together. Joker casually picked up a machine gun and shot the clowns. He walked over to the three, tossing the microphone from hand to hand. He then took a lighter out of his pocket, winked, and lit the microphone.

The microphone flared up at once and a small spark began to travel down the cord.

"It's a fuse!" Billy Ray cried, "Then where's the…"

Joker laughed and pointed to the speakers, "Well, Miss Montana. I must say, your concert really, uh, blew me away."

He jumped off the stage, "But I must admit. Mine was _much_ more entertaining."

With a final wild laugh he bowed and walked out of the stadium. There was an earsplitting BOOM and the stadium erupted in flames.

"Hey boss," one of the clowns said as Joker watched the flames, "I thought you said Batman would show."  
Joker frowned in thought, "Oh, I almost forgot about him. Well, he'll have plenty more chances to, uh, crash my party."

With a joyful cackle, Joker hopped into his black van. As the car drove away, Joker watched the stadium collapse.

"Til next time, Batman."

8

Bruce Wayne sat in his penthouse watching the explosion on television.

"Master Wayne?" Alfred walked into the room holding a tray of tea, "Why didn't Batman make an appearance tonight?"

Bruce let out a sigh and looked distastefully at the t.v. "I was never a fan of that girl."

**This is definatly not the end, so don't worry. There is plenty more to come.**


	7. Lucky Day

Hey! This chapter is very short, I know, but it's pretty much an intro into the next section. Thanks for the reviews, but school starts soon and I'm going to need a little more encouragemnet to keep writing regularly. So, review!!

Lucky Day

Chaos. That had been what Joker wanted when he destroyed Gotham Stadium. What he got was an uproar that swept the nation. Hannah's record company was suing the city, the city was recovering from the massive explosion that had destroyed a local landmark, and the world was wondering why, why, why?

Joker sat in a rundown apartment in the center of Gotham. He was reading the day's addition of the Gotham Times with a wide smile. This is what he lived for: the planning, the performance, and now…the reviews of his latest show.

"Hannah Montana De-Masked!" "Nation Mourns Loss of Icon!" "Mayor Refuses to Comment on Joker Situation!"

Joker threw down the newspaper, "Well, we've lain dormant for long enough."

The five clown-masked accomplices that accompanied Joker looked over. "But boss," one said, "It's only been three days."

Joker smiled, "Are you, uh, suggesting that I'm making a…_mistake_?"

The other four clowns backed away from the other as Joker walked slowly across the room.

"N…n…no, sir!" the clown stammered.

Joker removed his knife, "Because you _know_ what I'd have to do, right?"

The clown fell backwards as he struggled to both look at Joker and escape from him, "Yes, yes I do! It won't happen again!"

"You're right," Joker said turning back towards the newspaper, "Get rid of him."

The four clowns picked up their struggling comrade and tossed him out the window.

"Ok, now that _that's_ taken care of," the Joker said, licking his lips, "we have a new game to start."

Joker picked the yellow pages up from the floor and tossed it on the table. Covering his eyes with one hand, he blindly flipped through. He stopped near the middle and ran a finger up and down the page.

"And the winner iiiiiiiis…" Joker stopped and uncovered his eyes, "Lucky…_Tipton Hotel_."

Joker whistled, "Nice place. Even wealthier guests." He frowned thoughtfully at a mirror on the wall, tracing a scar with his finger, "And I am due for a spa treatment."

He looked back at the headlines. A small article caught his attention: "Heiress London Tipton Visits Gotham Location". Joker laughed. Sometimes even _he_ could not believe his good luck.


	8. The Suite Life

So, school started today, and this is definatly helping me recover. Enjoy!

**I do not own any Batman (I wish) or any Suite Life Characters**

The Suite Life

"I can't believe London let us come with her!" screamed Zack over the roar of traffic as his brother arrived in front of the gold doors of Gotham's Tipton.

"I know," Cody said, grabbing his suitcase, "This is almost as fun as my Advanced Calculus class!"

Zack stared at his brother and shook his head. The two stared up at the huge, gothic style building.

"This place is _way_ nicer than the one back home," Cody said.

"Yeah, I heard some dude donated a bunch of money. I think he owns some type of monorail or company or something."

The brothers looked at each other and smiled.

"Race you in!" cried Zack, pushing Cody onto the sidewalk.

"Hey! No fair! You cheated!" Cody yelled from the sidewalk, but Zack was already inside. Cody grumbled to himself and brushed off his sweater vest. The moon illuminated the dark streets as he began to walk to the vast double doors.

A loud bang echoed from the alley next to the hotel, and Cody dropped his suitcase in fright.

"Aw man," he moaned as he saw that the suitcase had burst open.

Cody scooped his clothing back into the case. As he shut the lid, a man dressed in a black, bat-like suit darted up the fire escape in the alley. Cody stared after the man, then shook his head, "Man, this is a weird town."

When Cody finally made it into the hotel, he almost dropped his suitcase again. The vast lobby was filled with priceless antiques and lined with marble pillars. Every guest he saw was decked out in the latest designer fashions, and even the staff seemed fancier than the one back in Boston. In short, Cody was impressed.

"Cody!" Zack called over from a plush couch in the center of the lobby.

The twin rushed over to Zack and plopped next to him, "You'll never guess what I just—"

"No, shut up!" Zack said, clearly excited, "Listen!" He shook out a newspaper and showed it to his brother, "You know the whole Hannah Montana thing?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"It happened here! That wacko dude, with the playing card name…what was it? Like Jack or something? Anyway. They haven't caught him! He's still here!"

Cody frowned, "And this is good news because…?"

"C'mon Cody! It's like we're in a superhero movie or something! This place has got a wack-job villain _and_ a superhero! We have Mr. Moseby."

"Maybe we should call mom," Cody began, "She probably wouldn't want us—"

Zack clamped a hand over his twin's mouth, "Are you _insane_? This is the coolest thing that's ever happened to us! Don't blow it!"

Cody sighed and pushed Zack's hand over him, "Fine. Let's just get upstairs." Cody grinned sneakily and pushed Zack off of the couch, "Race you upstairs!"

Zack cried out as he hit a sign and tumbled to the ground.

"Are you ok, kid?" a hand reached down and pulled Zack to his feet.

"Yeah, yeah," Zack looked up at the man.

His dark brown hair was slicked back and he wore an expensive looking suit, "You sure?"

"Yeah, thanks," Zack nodded at the man and picked up his suitcase. He looked down at the sign that he had collided with: **Wayne Enterprises Meeting 6 p.m. Ballroom**.

"Wow," Zack said, "I hope that guy's not mad I killed his sign. It was kinda lame anyway."

The man smiled slightly, "I'm pretty sure he won't."

Zack smiled and went to find his brother, pushing past fancily dressed guests as he went and shouting, "Hey, Cody. I'm gonna kill you."

"Mr. Wayne?"

The man watched Zack disappear, and then turned to face the concierge at his side, "Oh, right. Just have my guests go straight to the ballroom. I'll be in my room."

The concierge nodded and returned to his desk. Bruce ran his fingers through his hair and walked past the doors to the elevators.

Zack finally found Cody hiding behind a potted plant and laughing. Zack growled and pounced on his brother. They rolled out from behind the plant and landed in front of a pair of purple shoes.

"Sorry, sir," Cody said, blushing and scurrying to his feet.

"Yeah, my bad," Zack said. He frowned slightly when he saw, or rather did not see, the man's face, which was covered by a combination of a wide brimmed top hat and high colored purple jacket.

"What's he supposed to be, a cowboy?" Zack muttered as the two walked away.

The man watched after them coldly.

"I was going for magician," he muttered to himself, looking up and revealing a scarred smile.


	9. Here I Am In Your Life

**Thanks so much for your reviews guys! Keep it up!**

Here I Am In Your Life

Joker watched the boys push each other down the hallway with distaste. He had never been a huge fan of kids, and, the way he saw it, twin boys were just about as fun as discovering that one had _two_ brain tumors as opposed to one.

He was mainly disgruntled at their flagrant disregard for his outfit. He happened to enjoy this particular costume. Oh, well. _Plenty_ of time for revenge later.

Joker shook his sleeve and a shiny purple and gold can slid down his arm and hit the floor. He checked his reflection in an elevator and touched his face slightly self-consciously. He did not like to walk around without his make-up on. It made him feel too…_normal_. Even without the red make-up, however, his scars were still plainly visible.

Joker smiled and watched the scars stretch across his cheeks with pleasure. Tipping his hat jauntily, he deemed himself ready to mingle with the "high society" guests of the Tipton. He sauntered through the lobby, reveling in the judging stares of the other guests.

Whistling, he let his cane linger on the train of a woman's plunging evening gown as the woman began to walk away. There was a satisfying rip, and Joker continued to make his way through the lobby, his smile hidden beneath the brim of his hat.

He was half-way to the check-in desk when the front doors flew open. A teenage girl stepped in as if she were making her red carpet debut and threw her hands in the air, "It's little me back from…well, Boston!"

"Miss Tipton!" cried the spiffily dressed manager, running up to meet her, "Welcome to Gotham!"

London frowned and glanced around the hotel, "This doesn't _look_ like a city."

The manager opened his mouth slightly, "Uh, well, the city is out _there_," he said, pointing through the doors, "I just meant to welcome you to our Gotham location."

London waved her hand, "Whatever. Could someone show me to the biggest suite you have? I'm running on Italian made coffee here!"

The manager nodded, "Will you need any assistance with your luggage?"

London rolled her eyes, "Duh?" She clapped her hands and her driver and several other hotel employees pushed five carts loaded with designer luggage into the lobby.

"Yes," the manager said, "Right this way."

"Maddie!" London yelled, "Let's go! I bet the other two have already trashed the suite!"

Maddie walked in, dragged down by shopping bags, "Well, if you hadn't needed to stop at every single store we passed, then maybe we would have gotten here on—"

London brought a finger to Maddie's lips, "Shhh. London has a headache."

Maddie shook her head as London pranced after the hotel manager and followed slowly.

Joker watched the entire scene with interest. London seemed as annoying and stupid as she was rich. This could work to his advantage. He felt a chill run through his body as a plan developed before his very eyes.

"Nice suit," a man said, shocking Joker out of his thoughts.

Joker looked up in irritation, careful not to reveal his scars. His mouth almost fell open in gleeful shock. It was Bruce Wayne. _Two_ rich idiots in the same hotel? Joker had to stop himself from letting out a laugh.

"Are you here as a guest or for…?" Bruce pointed at his newly replaced sign.

Joker shook his head and muttered, "Guest," as quietly as he could.

Bruce shrugged at Joker's odd behavior and took a swig of his drink, "Well, I hope _you_ enjoy your stay."

With a final nod, the billionaire walked away. Joker rushed into an empty corner and sank to the floor, heaving with silent laughter. He had been a little iffy about coming to scope out the scene, preferring instead to just burst in and go with the flow, but boy, had it been a good idea.

"The playboy and the princess," Joker giggled, "Just like…a fairy tale." He bit his hand as another bout of laughter racked his body. Maybe he should get a room, just to make sure Brucey and the little heiress did not leave.

Yes, he decided, getting a room would be a good idea. He brushed off his suit, cracked his neck, and skipped to the check-in desk.

"I'd, uh, like a room," he said.

The clerk did not look up, "Do you have a reservation?"

"No, but—"

"I'm sorry sir, but we do not have any openings at this—"

Joker opened his coat slightly and ran his finger along the hilt of his favorite knife, "Are you sure?"

The clerk saw the knife and gulped.

Joker leaned forward and whispered happily, "If you scream, I'll put this through you right now."

The clerk's hands shook as she typed furiously on her computer, "Oh, silly me, I forgot about the…uh…opening we just had." She handed him a room key.

"Where do I pay?"

"Oh, free of charge, sir!"

Joker smiled to himself and nodded to the clerk. He grabbed the key and headed to the elevators, twirling his cane as he went. He pushed the gold encrusted button and waited, rocking back and forth on his heels. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bruce Wayne mingling with the rest of the guests.

Joker cocked his head and frowned. Had he been serious about the suit?


	10. Here You Are In Mine

**Here's the next bit. Remember, I always appreaciate your reviews and/or suggestions!**

Here You Are In Mine

"Zack! Get off my bed!" London shrieked as Zack bounced across one of the king-sized beds in the suite.

Zack smirked and jumped off the bed, "Who died and left _you_ in charge?"  
"I am the heiress to this hotel! That means you follow my rules or you sleep in the alley!"

Zack rolled his eyes and stomped out into the spacious living room where Cody and Maddie sat watching the news. He sat on the couch with an overdramatic sigh.

"What's up?" Cody asked, not taking his eyes from the screen.

"There's nothing to do here!" complained Zack.

"We're in a five star hotel!" Maddie rolled her eyes, "Go swimming or something."  
"We _live_ in a five star hotel," Zack pouted, "I've done everything that there is to be done."

Cody and Maddie exchanged a look. "Fine. I'll find something to do with you," Cody said, "There's nothing on T.V. anyway. Just stuff about that clown man, but I know you wouldn't be interested in –"

Zack leaped onto the couch and turned up the volume. Cody and Maddie exchanged an air-five and settled back into the developing story.

"…although there have been no confirmed sightings of the criminal known as the Joker, Commissioner Gordan has reason to believe that the Joker is on the move once again," said a reporter standing on a sidewalk downtown, "Citizens are advised to take the necessary precautions to ensure their own safety. Once again, the Joker is probably armed and very dangerous, and citizens are strongly advised not to approach him. If spotted, please call the Gotham Police Department. This is the most recent picture of the Joker."

A large picture of the Joker beaming for the camera while holding a knife to the throat of Hannah Montana flashed across the screen.

"Ew! What is _that_?" London's voice rang through the room as she pointed at the screen.

"It's the Joker! He's a real live crazy dude!" Zack said excitedly.

London frowned, "He's a clown. How scary can he be? Plus, look what he's wearing! Purple is a _fall_ color. It's June! He's almost as badly dressed as that guy who was in the lobby when I came in."

"The guy with the cane?" Cody said, "We ran into him."

"Literally," muttered Zack, "C'mon Cody! Let's go _do_ something!"

Cody sighed, "Fine. We'll be back."

The twins grabbed their room keys and left the room. As they turned a corner, Zack held out his arm and stopped Cody.

"What?" Cody asked angrily, trying to push past Zack.

Zack put a finger to his lips and pointed. The man with the purple suit and top hat was exiting his room.

"Wanna have some fun?" Zack whispered, raising an eyebrow mischievously.

Cody looked at the man nervously, "I don't know. Something about that guy gives me the creeps. You can't see his face! Plus, he sounded really mad when we rolled onto him before."

"Seriously Cody," Zack said, tiptoeing after the man, "What could he possibly do to us?"

Joker was leaving his room when he sensed the twins following him. He twitched irritably. These two were going to be more trouble than they were worth. Joker continued walking down the hall like nothing was wrong, however, and he could hear the boys breathing heavily a few yards behind him.

He fingered the knife in his pocket and considered teaching these two a lesson in manners. No, he decided, taking a deep breath, he had bigger fish to fry that night. He summoned his cheeriest, which also happened to be his most frightening, smile and turned to face Zack and Cody.

The boys froze as they saw Joker turn and pretended to be having a conversation.

"Can I, uh, help you with something?" Joker asked sweetly.

"Actually, yes," Zack said innocently, "We just wanted to ask you a question."

Joker's smile twitched under the brim of his hat, "Oh?"

"Yes," Zack's smiled "We were just wondering where the magic convention was. 'Cause I think you might be a little lost."

Joker cracked his neck. Cody stepped back warily, but Zack stood his ground, still smiling.

"Now, that wasn't very nice," Joker said, stepping towards them and reaching into his coat.

"I know, it's a problem I have," Zack said, still smiling sweetly.

"You know," Joker bent over to look Zack in the eye, "I have some problems, too."

He looked up and revealed his smile. Zack's smile disappeared and his mouth dropped open in horrified shock, "You…you…"

"You might want to work on that whole, uh, _talking_ thing," Joker said, slowly sliding his knife from his jacket pocket, "It's kinda hard to understand you."

Cody let out a squeal of terror as he saw the knife and took another step back.

"Take another step," Joker's eyes did not leave Zack's, "and I'll really give you something to scream about."

Cody stopped, breathing heavily, his eyes darting from the knife to Joker to Zack in a wild frenzy.

"So, you like jokes?"

Zack's eyes were locked on the knife.

Joker sighed dramatically, "C'mon, kid, answer the question."

"Yes," Zack choked out as Joker moved the knife further from its pocket.

"Well, good," Joker chuckled, "As do I, as do I. But people don't seem to think I'm funny." Joker's face lit up in excitement, "Hey, do you wanna hear one?"

Zack glanced quickly at Cody, then nodded.

Joker laughed softly, "What happens when a 'psycho' puts a hundred barrels of gasoline in a hotel basement?"

Zack's eyes looked about ready to pop. He slowly shook his head.

Joker laughed maniacally and stood up, straightening up and putting away his knife, "Well, you're about to find out."


	11. Party Crasher

Hey! Sorry I haven't updated! School is crazy!

Party Crasher

"Oh, Bruce!" crooned the rich wife of a stockholder, grabbing the champagne glass he held out for her, "_Excellent_ party. Thank you _so_ much for the invite."

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself," Bruce smiled politely, "Now, if you will excuse me, I need to see to my other guests."

Bruce turned away and downed his own glass of champagne. He did not enjoy throwing these "meetings" for his investors. It made him feel fake. Bruce sighed and straightened his tie. It was necessary to keep up the charade at any cost.

"Master Wayne?" Alfred appeared at Bruce's side as if sensing his discomfort, "Would you like to, uh, take a breather for a few minutes?"

Bruce smiled gratefully, "But how could I leave this wonderful party?"

"I think they'll manage without you," Alfred said gesturing to the room of drunken guests.

The billionaire winked at his friend and casually slipped into the lobby. He walked over to one of the many plush chairs and sank into the deep cushions.

"I'll just stay out for two minutes," he muttered to himself as his eyes slid shut.

Bruce was just drifting off when a scream reached his well-trained ears. He sat up, immediately alert. The front door was sliding closed, and the scream had come from outside. Bruce sprang up and walked briskly out of the hotel.

As Bruce left, the elevator opened with a ping and Joker stepped into the lobby. Zack and Cody followed him fearfully and glanced around the lobby for help. It was empty.

"That dude's meeting!" Zack groaned softly to Cody, whose eyes widened in panic.

Joker frowned thoughtfully. Now where was that meeting he had heard about? Voices drifted into the lobby from a room down a hallway. The voice of London Tipton could be heard bragging shrilly over the others.

"Why thank you! This dress _was_ expensive."

Bingo. Tipping his hat further over his eyes, Joker led the boys to the ballroom.

"Now," he said, turning to face the twins, "You give the punch line away before the delivery, and I'll, uh, kill you."

There was no trace of a laugh in the man's voice even though his lips curled up in a smile. Zack and Cody nodded dumbly. Joker ran a finger over his re-masked scars. It felt good to be hidden once more. He slipped a walkie-talkie from one of his pockets.

"Ok boys, time to start the show."

London frowned at the tall man walking towards her. She did not recognize him, which meant that he was not worth knowing.

"Miss Tipton?" the man asked when he reached her side.

"Yes?" she said with a raised eyebrow.

The man drew a gun and pressed it to her temple. London froze as the guests erupted in a blind panic. All around the perimeter of the room, men drew concealed guns and herded the people into the center of the room.

"Ew," moaned London, "A poor person gun is touching me!"

"London!" shrieked Maddie, trying to get to her friend while trapped behind a henchman.

"Well, well, well," a silky voice came from the corner. The Joker half-skipped towards London, the twins following closely.

"Zack? Cody?" London asked, "I told you to stay in the room! You two are going to ruin my party!"

The Joker swept off his hat and bowed low to London, "I'm sorry, my dear, they're with me. It's, uh, a real _pleasure_ to meet one of your…status."

Joker looked up and grinned. London shrieked at the sight of Joker's smeared make-up and scars. His smile widened.

"But if I remember correctly," Joker said, scanning the room, "and I do, this party is _not_ for you. Is there a Mr. Wayne in the room?"

The crowd shifted as the guests looked for their host.

"Mr. Wayne? A Mr. _Bruce_ Wayne?"

"He's not here," an old but strong voice came from the group, "He had to leave for business."  
Joker stared at the old man and shrugged, "Oh well, can't win 'em all…at once."

He turned back to London, "_So_ my dear. Your daddy owns this…establishment, hmm?"

London seemed more disgusted of the man in front of her than she was scared of the gun pressed to her head, "Yeah, so what?"

Joker glided across the shiny wooden floor and sidled up to London until his breath rustled the ribbon in her hair, "Well, that makes you the heiress, the next in line, the…future owner."

London did not answer, but continued to stare at Joker's suit.

"Is it the scars?" he said with mock self-consciousness.

"No, it's the suit," London said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Purple is a _fall_ color. Learn some style."

Joker's mouth fell open, and he momentarily was at a loss for words, "So…so it's _not_ the scars?"

London shook her head and flipped her hair. Joker was honestly stunned. He had never met a human being who had not been even a little bit frightened by his appearance. To tell the truth, he was a little disappointed at her reaction. He pulled himself together.

"So," he addressed the crowd this time, "you would all let this…girl run this hotel?"

The hotel staff eyed each other and looked away from London.

"This city has a problem," Joker continued, "With putting authority in the wrong hands. And I, no, _London_, is going to show you the consequences of this misplaced trust."

Joker motioned for the man holding London to let her free, "There are one hundred barrels of gasoline in the basement of this hotel. The barrels are attached to a bomb. If London does not find a way to neutralize the bomb in…" Joker looked at his watch, "thirty minutes, you…al of you…will die."

Joker's laugh echoed around the room as the horrified crowd turned o face London.

"Wait," London said, looking up from her nails, "What's going on?"


	12. Blowing Things Outta Proportion

**Hey everyone! Here's the next segment! Please review!!**

**Blowing Things Outta Proportion**

A buzz filled the room as the crowd began to realize their desperate situation.

"You can't be serious!" one man yelled.

Joker smiled, "No, I can't. I tried, once. It didn't, uh, get me very far."

"You can't leave her in charge of the hotel!" shrieked a panicked woman.

"Why not? You've seemed game for it up until…now," Joker said strolling over to the crowd. He sighed, "Fine, she can have one helper."

London looked over, "Oh oh oh! Let me pick!" She rushed over to the group and stood in front of the guard that was blocking Maddie. She put her hands on her hips, "Maddie. What are you doing? Let's go!"

Maddie pushed the guard out of the way and grabbed London's arm, "We need to diffuse that bomb!"

"Wait, there's a bomb in my hotel?"

London looked at Joker and scowled, "That's not very nice."

"No," the Joker said, "It's…not. But you know what? This is an excellent opportunity for you to, uh, show them what you're really made of."

"Yay me!" cried London, and scurried out of the room, Maddie in toll.

The twins stood in a corner and watched the girls run out. Zack jerked his head towards the door behind Cody and him, and the two silently hurried after them.

"What are we going to do?" whimpered Cody.

"We're gonna find the police," Zack said, heading towards the front doors.

"Wait!" Cody grabbed his twin. Two men stood casually by the doors, but the boys could see lumps in their coats that looked suspiciously like guns. The two groaned in unison and sank to the floor.

"Our only hope is to help Maddie and London," Cody said finally.

Zack snorted, "Right. Let's go diffuse a bomb. Get real! This isn't some stupid movie!"

Cody's eyes watered indignantly, "You got a better idea?"

Zack sighed and rubbed his face with one hand, "Fine. We'll go help out."

Maddie raced through the hotel closely followed by London.

"Maddie! Slow down!" London whined, "These shoes were not made for walking!"

Maddie glanced over her shoulder, "This isn't the time! Now where's the basement?"

"I don't know!"

"But you own it!" cried Maddie in frustration.

"I'm just an heiress! What do I know? And don't take that tone with me Miss I-Don't-Even-Own-One-Hotel!"

Maddie stopped and spun around to glare at London, "Hey, I don't have to help you, you know. I could just let you try to figure this out."

"Go ahead! How hard could it be?" London huffed. She pushed past Maddie and began walking down the hallway. She went twenty feet and stopped, "Um…where's the basement in this place?"

"This way!" called Zack, catching up with the girls.

"Zack!" Maddie exclaimed, "You have to get out of here! There's a guy—"

"Yeah, yeah, we know!" Cody gasped, coming to a halt and clutching his side, "We need to figure this out before he figures out we're gone."

"Well, Miss Heiress here thinks she can do it by herself."

"We don't have time for this!" Cody yelled, "Now let's do this!"

The four continued down the hallway until they reached a service elevator. They entered and pushed a button marked "LL".

"This elevator is so guh-ross!" London complained.

"London," Zack said sweetly, "Shut up!"

The elevator pinged to a stop. A collective gasp came from the elevator when the doors opened. The entire basement had been cleared out and hundreds of barrels of gasoline filled the room.

"Look!" Cody cried, pointing up at a ticking red clock that had been mounted on the wall, "We only have twenty minutes!"

"What do we do?" cried Maddie.

"We need to find the detonator!" Cody said, "Everyone look around!"

The four split up and began examining each barrel for something that could control the situation. A blank T.V. screen next to the clock flickered to life.

"Well, I see you found the right place," Joker grinned onscreen, "I decided to check in on you."

Joker noticed Zack and Cody ducking out of view and frowned, "Well, well, well. It looks like someone broke the rules. I'm afraid that's a penalty."

"What do you mean?" Cody asked.

Joker giggled and wagged his finger at the boys, "I told you not to get involved."

"What do you mean?" yelled Zack.

"Business is all about...making choices. Who to fire, which branch is expendable." Joker's laugh echoed around the now deathly still basement.

"What have you done?" whispered Maddie.

"Me?" Joker said innocently, "I haven't done anything. It was your, your friends who did this. I may have put the barrels there, sure but—"

Zack pounded on a barrel of gasoline, "Where did you put the other barrels?!"

Joker smiled widely and held up a brochure.

"No," whispered Cody.

"He can't!" cried Maddie.

"What? I don't get it," said London, squinting at the screen.

"There's another bomb," Zack said in a deadly calm voice, "And it's in the Boston Tipton."


	13. It's My Party

**It's My Party**

"So, I think I'll leave you alone now," Joker grinned maliciously, "You have quite a choice to make, Miss Tipton."

Joker's hand disappeared from view as he went to disconnect their video, but it reappeared as he hit himself on the forehead, "I almost forgot! The…" Joker broke off in a fit of laughter, "…the detonator is voice activated. Only _London_ can stop it."

The screen blacked out.

"Well, this is just peachy," Zack said, "We don't even know where the detonator _is_!"

"Uh, guys, was that there, like, two seconds ago?" Cody said, pointing to the back of the room. A remote sat on a barrel of gasoline bathed in a small pool of light.

"No, it wasn't," Maddie said, walking over and picking it up.

The remote had two buttons on it: one red and one blue.

"But which button does what?" asked Cody in frustration.

"I'm guessing one is for Boston, and one is for Gotham," Maddie said, pointing to the large letters "T" and "G" printed on the buttons. The friends stood silently around the remote as the clock ticked 10:00, 9:59, 9:58…

"How can we choose?" cried Maddie, "We can't blow up the Boston one! Our families are there!"

"Well, we can't just let these people die either!" Cody shot back.

"Maybe Batman will save us," Zack said hopefully.

"Zack, grow up! He probably doesn't even know something's wrong!"

_Something's wrong_, Bruce thought to himself. He had tried to call Alfred five times, and the butler had not picked up either time, very un-Alfred like behavior. Bruce's black Lamborghini roared as he pushed the pedal down to the floor. He was back in his party attire, his other job done for the night.

He slowed as he reached the front of the hotel, but then quickly sped up again. His heart pounded wildly. Bruce had seen the two men standing by the door, and two years of being Batman had taught him to recognize when a person was concealing a weapon.

He parked his car illegally and jumped out. _What am I going to do?_ The bat-suit was sealed in a secret compartment in his trunk, but he did not know if he would need it. Bruce walked towards the hotel. He had not seen anyone in the lobby. Maybe he could take out the gunmen before anyone even noticed.

Bruce reached the front doors and swaggered inside, "Evening, gentlemen."

The gunmen looked surprised and immediately drew their weapons. Bruce silently disabled both men and left them slumped unconscious behind a potted plant.

Now that he noticed it, however, the lobby should not be _completely_ empty. The concierge, the bellboys, and the other hotel employees were nowhere to be found. Heart sinking, Bruce walked slowly to the ballroom and pressed an ear to the door.

"…Only _London_ can stop it." Bruce hissed. He could recognize that voice anywhere. How could he have left his guests in such danger?

Bruce crouched to the floor and looked through the miniscule crack in the door. He could make out the Joker's purple-coated form stalking across the room.

A sudden burst of gunshot made Bruce jump slightly. He scanned the room through his limited view, but could not see any casualties.

"Just keeping you on your toes," Joker giggled, twirling one of his minion's guns, "But, hey, don't look so serious. Just ten more minutes and…" Joker mimed an explosion. The shocked faces of the guests caused another outburst of laughter from the Joker.

Bruce silently snuck away from the door. He glanced at his watch and sprinted back to his car to become the one thing that could save them now.

"Why are you all looking at me?" London asked, "Not that I mind."

"Well, since _you're_ the one with our fate literally in your hands," Maddie said, pointing to the remote that London held.

"Oh, right. Now which button do I push again?"

"Neither, for now," Cody said from the floor, "But soon you'll have to make a choice. Are you willing to die for our friends back home? Can you let the innocent people _here_ die?"

"Umm, either way, I'm not really losing anything," London said.

The others stared at her in shock. "What about our mom? Arwin? Mr. Moseby?" Zack asked.

London shrugged, "Well, yeah, but they're not _really_ my friends. You all just like me 'cause I'm rich. And trust me. I can find plenty more of those people. And I'm just to pretty to die."

Zack and Cody exchanged glances, stood up, and walked out of the basement. Maddie stood by London, "I can't believe you." She turned to leave as well, "Oh, and by the way. When you're ready, you want to press the blue one."

London stared down at the blue button with the letter "G" engraved on it, "Boston starts with a 'G'?"

Maddie stared at London coldly and nodded slowly, "Yes."

Bruce stormed back into the hotel, bat-suit donned and ready for action. He walked straight over to the ballroom doors and slammed them open.

Shrieks of shock echoed through the room, which were immediately followed by sighs of relief.

Joker's smile nearly split his face in two, "Ah, Batman, my old… friend."

Batman growled and grabbed Joker by his coat. The two men were face to face, but Joker only giggled softly.

"Stop the bomb," Bruce snarled in his deep Batman voice.

"Oh, so you're already filled in. Well, I…_can't_, much as I'd like to oblige. Only Miss Tipton can."

Joker gestured to a blank T.V. screen, which flickered to life, revealing London standing alone in the basement. He frowned thoughtfully, "Now where'd those other three go—"

Batman flung Joker to the floor. The clown-masked accomplices automatically stepped forward to help their leader, and Batman pounced.

"Get out of here!" he roared at the guests who screamed and surged forward. The scene that followed was a blur of guns and fists as Bruce proceeded to disarm every one of the clowns. Soon, only he and the Joker remained. Joker sat on the floor, propped up by his arms, "You know, you really should see someone about this little anger management problem of yours."

Bruce turned slowly and dragged Joker to his feet, "You're not getting away this time. No more lucky breaks."

Joker shrugged and allowed himself to be taken from the hotel. The two reached the lobby when Joker's laughter began. Tears streamed down his face and he slumped to the floor.

Bruce slammed Joker's head to the ground, "What's so funny?"

"Well," Joker choked between spurts of laughter, "In order…to save…this place…you have to let…me…go."

Batman narrowed his eyes, "What do you mean?"

Joker held out his hands and turned out his pockets, "I'm not in control of this particular party."

Bruce's stomach dropped as he remembered Joker's words when he was eavesdropping: "Only _London_ can stop it."

"No!" Batman punched Joker unconscious and sped down the hall to the basement.

**I'm not sure I like this chapter...a little too dark. They'll get better, I promise!**


	14. Everything Burns

**Everything Burns**

Bruce sped out of the lobby and down the empty hallway to the basement. The hotel was completely silent. As he reached a corner, he heard footsteps. His muscles tensed as he prepared to kick some bad guy butt.

As Bruce sprang around the corner, however, he was met with the surprised yells of Zack and Cody.

"What—" Bruce said for a moment forgetting to change his voice, "I mean, what are you two doing down here?"

"I told you!" Zack said, punching his brother, "I told him you would come!"

"Yeah, yeah. We have bigger problems!" Cody said turning to Batman, "London's gonna blow up our home!"

Bruce narrowed his eyes, "I thought he was after _this_ hotel."

"Well…" Zack started, "That's not important. You have to stop London!"

Bruce nodded and pulled open the door next to the service elevator that led to the stairs.

"I _so_ told you he would come," Zack said.

The elevator pinged open, and Maddie stepped out. The twins rushed over to her.

"Did you stop her?"

Maddie shook her head, "We can't do anything now."

"Batman's here!" cheered Zack, "He'll figure this out, don't worry!"

Maddie's face lit up hopefully, "Well, still. We should get outta here." The twins nodded and raced down the hallway to the lobby.

"I can't believe Batman even knew to come," Cody said, "I mean, there's no way he could have known."

"Unless he had been there the whole time…" said Zack thoughtfully.

"You know, Mr. Wayne never _did_ come back from that restroom break…" Maddie said.

The three looked at each other and burst out laughing, "Yeah, right." They could see the lights of police cars outside the doors and rushed towards them gratefully.

"I bet the Joker didn't plan on Batman showing up and ruining his fun," grinned Zack as they pushed open the doors and ran to the police cars.

"Actually," muttered a thick voice, "I was _counting_ on it."

A single burst of laughter tore through the empty hotel before a top-hatted figure stumbled out of the doors.

"This place is so _guh-ross_," whined London to herself. She looked around the dirty basement. _I'm so having this place torn down_, she thought to herself, _this basement is so dirty! What am I supposed to do again?_ She looked down and saw her finger resting on a large blue button engraved with the letter "G".

_Daddy won't even mind I'm getting rid of that dump. I mean, he was gonna shut down the branch next week anyway_. She smiled wickedly to herself. _I bet I'll get a new yacht for taking it off his hands_.

"Goodbye, Boston." One of her perfectly manicured fingers pressed the button. Nothing happened. "Well. That's done. Now I can get out of this dump. I hate Gotham."

The remote lit up and flashed brilliantly. A wild beeping sound echoed through the basement.

"This song sucks!" pouted London, "Change the station—"

Bruce flew down the steps. He knew he had minutes, maybe seconds to reach London and stop the explosion. When he reached the bottom of the staircase, he saw that two doors lined the walls, both blank. Bruce's mind raced furiously. He stepped forward and burst into the door on the left. It was a storage room that looked like it had been an old bomb shelter.

Bruce roared in frustration, but as he turned to run out of the room, he heard the fast beeping of a detonated bomb. He closed the door to the room and lay flat on the ground. The hotel shook as a deafening roar ripped through the foundation. A loud cracking noise echoed from above, and the roof caved in. Then, all was black.

The crowd outside screamed. The hotel was in flames, and was beginning to collapse before their eyes.

"Clear the area!" screamed police megaphones, "Everyone get away!"

"No! Batman!" cried Zack.

"London!" cried Maddie.

"Master Wayne!" cried a horrified old man, staring up at the burning building.

Zack looked over at the man and frowned. What did he care about some rich dude? His hero was gone.

"What did Bruce Wayne ever do for anyone?" Zack growled, pointing up at the hotel, "Batman was in there!"

The old man looked at Zack and bowed his head, "He did more for this city than you'll ever know, young man."

The hotel shook again, and the building fell, crashing to the ground in a pillar of smoke and fire. The sirens of the fire trucks screamed as the firemen began pummeling the remains with water.

From the shadows of a nearby alley, a man's eyes gleamed under the brim of a purple top hat. He turned and walked through the darkness, his whistles echoing eerily through the night.

**Ok. So this is the end of the Suite Life segment, and I'm happy cuz I was getting bored with it. Zack, Cody, and Maddie go back to Boston. There's still more to come, and I'm very excited about the next part!**


	15. Games

**Ah! School is crazy and preventing me from updating faster! Review please!**

**Games**

The smoke from the Tipton fire was still visible a week after the burning. The citizens of Gotham were panicking, and the police seemed at a loss. How could one man have caused so much destruction?

Commissioner Gordon sighed and ran his fingers through his graying hair. He was sorting through the piles and piles of plans for visiting celebrities, bands, and politicians. The Joker was targeting well-known public figures, and Gordon was out to stop him.

He had spent the days after the Hannah Montana incident fighting off the press and trying to restore order. Now, after the death of another icon, Gotham was splitting apart at the seams. Nobody would step foot in the city to perform, and Gordon wanted it to stay that way, at least for now. The police could not afford any more bad press.

To make matters worse, the rescue crews had found a black cape buried beneath the rubble of the hotel. Gordon's heart sank at the memory. He would have recognized that cape anywhere. Batman was dead.

Gordon had kept the hero's death quiet. He knew that the media would have a field day with the discovery: Batman and Joker Join Forces!

The commissioner's stomach still twisted with guilt when he thought of how he had gone along with Batman's plan: make Gotham hate him to cover up Harvey Dent's death.

"I need a vacation," he muttered, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Um, sir?" Gordon's secretary tapped softly on the door.

"Yes?"

"You have twenty new messages, a meeting with the Tipton board members tomorrow at 9, a survey of the Tipton site, over 100 new emails, and the mayor is on line 6. He says it's urgent."

Gordon shut his eyes, "What isn't these days?" He looked out his window at the perfect blue sky, "Tell the mayor I'm in a meeting. I'm going for a walk."

The secretary smiled slightly and nodded, "Will you be needing any, um, support?"

"I think I can handle myself," Gordon said, slipping on a long trench coat and wide brimmed hat.

He walked out of the bustling police center unnoticed, a skill he had been forced to learn since his appointment. A slight breeze tickled Gordon's face, and for the first time in what felt like years, he began to relax.

A small whimper from the alley he was passing made him pause. Even though the sun was blinding, the alleys of the city remained dark and sinister, as though immune to the rays.

Gordon's hand slid to his gun, "Hello?"

The whimpering continued, and Gordon made out the figure of a woman huddled on the ground. He loaded the gun and slowly stepped into the alley.

"Are you alright, Ma'am?"

The woman did not look up, her long blond hair obscured her face. Gordon was a foot away. He was reaching down to touch her shoulder when she finally looked up.

"Ah, Commissioner Gordon," the "woman" said in a slippery, mocking voice, "We meet again."

Gordon gasped at the streaked make-up, the glittering eyes, and the vicious scars of the Joker.

"I wouldn't fire that if _I _were you," Joker said, twirling his wig absentmindedly.

"Give me one reason why?" Gordon growled, his gun now pressed to Joker's temple.

"Oh, a little bossy today," Joker giggle, ignoring the cold steel on his skin, "But I'm feeling generous. I'll give you _two_ reasons."

Gordon did not move. Joker took it as an invitation to continue.

"Ya see, the whole Tipton thing was no fun. I mean, sure the Bat showed up, but it was too easy. Too…boring. I live for the challenge. So this time I'm gonna tell ya my…uh, next appearance."

Gordon's brow knitted in confusion and anger, "Why don't I just kill you now? Then I don't have to worry about any future 'appearances'."

"Hasty, hasty," Joker chided, still twirling his wig, "Ya see, that's your problem. You need to learn how to slow down. I mean, if you had stepped back and _really _looked at the Tipton 'situation', you might have been able to save that Bat—"

Gordon roared and pressed the gun harder into the Joker's temple.

Joker chuckled softly, "Second reason why you shouldn't kill me. There's a bomb in the police station ready to go off like that," Joker snapped, "if you pull the trigger."

Gordon's gun hand wavered, then fell to his side, "You have my attention."

Joker nodded, "That's all I ask. Now, it's come to my attention that certain people don't _approve _of my actions, _especially_ towards Miss Montana," he grinned happily at the thought of the pop star, "Apparently a certain music group is coming next Friday to, uh, what was it? 'Stop the Madness'? Personally, I like madness. It suits me, it suits the city—"

Gordon growled again, "_And_?"

"_And_," Joker said with a cheerful grin, "I'm gonna bring some good old Gotham chaos right to them." He stood up and brushed off his flower patterned dress, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some errands to run."

It took all of Gordon's willpower not to race after the madman and tackle him to the ground. As Joker ambled down the ally, Gordon called out, "You didn't tell me who this band is!"

"Looks like you have some research to do, Mr. Commissioner," Joker laughed back.

Gordon narrowed his eyes. A sudden realization made him call out again, "What about the bomb, Joker?"

"What bomb?" Joker laughed, and then disappeared out of the ally.

Gordon seethed silently. How could he have been so stupid? He had him! He had that murderer! Turning on his heel, Gordon raced back to the station to look up the next victims.

When he reentered his office, he motioned for the secretary to hold his calls. Groaning in dismay, Gordon began to shift through the piles of papers once more. Finally, a paper tied with a large red bow caught his eye. It defiantly had not been there before. Gordon untied the paper slowly, and then let out another groan as he saw the Joker's next victims looking up at him from the paper.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Commissioner," the secretary said, entering his office once more, "but—"

"Save it," Gordon said, "I need the mayor on the phone now. We have another crisis on our hands."

"Who is it this time?" the secretary asked fearfully.

Gordon showed her the picture, and she nodded curtly, vanishing to call the mayor. The Commissioner pulled on his coat once more and left the office for the second time that day. The gust from the door blew the paper to the floor, revealing the brooding faces of the Jonas Brothers staring at the ceiling.

**Yes, the Jonas Brothers are the next victims, so if you're a fan, just skip the next few chapters.**


	16. Hold On

**I'm sorry I haven't updated in forever! I'll try to do it more regularly now, but school's been crazy! Review please!!**

**Hold On**

"No. I don't care if there are a million psychopaths running around your city. My clients will not be intimidated…Yes, I understand there are security risks…No, this is not completely unnecessary! Do you know how much money your city's gonna make when these boys just walk into town? I mean…"

The Jonas Bro's agent had been talking for a half hour straight. Kevin knew. He had been timing him.

"I think he's going for a new record," he muttered to his younger brother, Joe. Joe grinned and looked back out the window of their tour bus. They had been on the road for a day already, traveling to a city that they had never been to: Gotham.

The day had stretched on for an eternity and the two older Jonas' were getting restless.

"So, Kevin," Joe said, raising his voice slightly, "I hear this Joker guy's still on the rampage. Maybe we should just cancel the tour—"

A low growl came from the opposite side of the bus where Nick Jonas sat hunched over. His face was drawn and pale, and his curly brown hair was matted to his face.

"You know why we have to do this," he said, his already high voice wavered up an octave as it cracked.

Joe smiled inwardly, "C'mon Nick. You barely knew the girl!"

Nick sprang across the bus and pointed a threatening finger at Joe, "She. Was. Not. Just. A. Girl."

"Oh, Joe, don't you remember," Kevin said sliding across the seat over to his brothers, "She was the _one_. I mean, they were, fifteen. I'm surprised you waited so long, Nick. Why didn't you propose to her right then—?"

With a roar, Nick launched himself at his laughing brothers. The three had been wrestling for five minutes before their agent broke them up.

"Woah, woah! Guy, chill out!" the agent pulled them apart, "Now what's going on? I just finished convincing Gotham P.D. that you three were 'extremely mature and able to look after yourselves'."

Nick wiped his nose, which had started running, "They brought _her_ up again."

The agent narrowed his eyes at Joe and Kevin, who were laughing silently in a corner, "Now, if I remember correctly, I told them not to bring her up unless you wanted to talk about it. They know you're not in the best shape right now."

"Well, I _don't _want to talk about it. I'm fine. I just don't want them bringing it up."

"Yeah, you're just dandy," Kevin sneered, "That's why we're traveling a zillion miles to play a concert in the city she _died _in."

"That's enough," the agent said, "I want you all in different parts of the bus now. And I mean _now_."

Kevin shrugged and opened the door that led to their bunks for some shut eye.

"I call TV!" Joe yelled, jumping behind a curtain.

Nick stayed where he was, unmoving, breathe fogging up the glass.

"Are you sure you're—?" the agent began timidly.

Nick glared at the agent and turned back to the window. When he was alone in the lounge area, he reached into his pocket and removed his wallet. When he opened it, a picture of him and a girl trying to look gangster in their designer clothes stared back up at him: a bleak reminder of the past.

He had not talked to his brothers about Miley. He had known her secret, and that had made him special. They had dated, but they broke up right before she left for Gotham. He knew his brothers would laugh at him if he had tried to describe the deepness of their fifteen year old pop star love.

That was why he had not told his brothers his true intentions for going to Gotham. He stared blankly at the picture, and then flipped it over to reveal a folded newspaper article. The article boasted a picture of a war-painted man below the headline "Super Star Killed by Super Villain".

His hands shook as he reread the article. He had a single purpose for entering the city: revenge.


	17. Plans

**Please review!!**

**Plans**

"We, uh, wrote the song 'Burning Up' when we, uh, were on a really hot tour bus, and, ya know, we were really hot," Nick Jonas's voice droned from the TV in the corner of the Joker's latest hide out.

"Well, that is _great_ to know, my boy," Joker muttered, freezing the interview. Nick was stopped in mid sentence, his mouth hanging open and his eyes half closed. Joker narrowed his eyes, taking in the boy. _I remember you_, he thought to himself. There had been something about him in the papers after the Miley incident. _But what was it? _Joker shrugged. No point reveling in the past. He was on to greater things.

He had to admit, he did not know much about his newest "clients". They were teenage boys, they wore tight pants, and their faces were printed on every magazine in town. What else was there to them?

Joker cocked his head to one side as he examined the still form of Nick Jonas, "Now, what's so special about you, hm?"

"Hey, that's that Jonas kid," one of the Joker's clowns said as he shuffled past the screen.

Joker looked up in surprise, "You, uh, know him?"

"Yeah, I don't live in a cave."

Joker frowned slightly and looked around his dirty apartment. Not a bit cave like.

"Tell me about them."

"That kid's like their leader or somethin'," the clown said, "Every preteen in this city probably has a pic of him in their room."

"_Every_ kid?" Joker said, intrigued.

"Yeah," the man said, "My kid's got a scrap book or somethin' with pictures of him and that Cyrus girl all over."

Joker's lips curved into a slow smile. So our Nicky boy knew the pop princess. Wasn't that nice?

"I think that we could have some fun with this," Joker murmured, unfreezing the TV, "Not that we weren't in the first place."

"What's on the agenda for tonight?" he asked one of his cronies.

"Uh, rob Gotham City Bank and manage to antagonize city officials. Goals: Make page one," one of the clown-masked accomplices read from the calendar.

"Hm, I'm not in the mood for a shoot out tonight. Cancel the robbery, keep the antagonizing," Joker said, rubbing his gloved hands together, "We don't want our lovely city officials to get lazy now, do we? Especially now that they don't have their extra, uh, _support_."

Joker felt a twinge as he thought about his ex-nemesis. _Not hate_, he thought darkly. Disappointment? This game was not the same without old Batman running in and making it more interesting. Joker had never intended Batman to perish in the explosion; it just…worked out that way. Joker did not make plans. He set the traps and went along for the ride.

He shook himself angrily. Why dwell on things you can't change? Feelings did not mix well with Joker's line of work. He amused himself for a few minutes by drawing large, red smiles on the faces of the Jonas' in the paper. Boredom also did not sit well with the Joker.

He drew his knife and threw it into the backs of one of the clown-masked men. The man screamed and slumped forward. With a contented sigh, Joker sat back in his chair.

He glanced over at his calendar once more. The brothers were arriving in two days. _Just enough time to plan a welcome party_, he thought to himself. He drew his knife and checked his reflection. _Nothing big, well nothing as big as my finale_, he grinned at that, _Just a little something to show them my appreciation_.

"We might need to cut the antagonizing short, boys," Joker said, springing to his feet, "We've got a party to plan."


	18. Hope?

**Hope?**

Gordon was frantic. The most recent issue of the Gotham Times sported a front page article of the Jonas Brothers accompanied by a large picture of the band, and the Commissioner had found two copies drifting around the city in which the boys' faces were marked by gruesome red smiles. He would recognize the Joker's trademark anywhere.

A vandalized copy sat on his desk as he thought: a bitter reminder of the menace that plagued the city. _I have to get through to these boys_, Gordon thought desperately, picking up his phone and dialing the band's agent for the fifth time that day.

"Hello?" crackled a voice on the other end.

"Yes, Mr. Smith? It's Gordon, I know I've not been able to get through to you, but I really must stress the urgency—"

"Mr. Gordon, my clients will not be intimidated by some circus freak."

"I can assure you, sir, this man is not someone to trifle with."

"Right, well, my boys outgrew their fear of clowns when they were about five, so let's just move on. So, the dressing rooms are ready?"  
"Mr. Smith, you don't understand. He has openly admitted that he will hurt those boys if they come here."

"Really. Did he really say that he would _hurt _them?"

Gordon's voice rose in frustration, "He doesn't _have_ to say it! He's got them marked!"

"Mr. Gordon, I—" Mr. Smith broke off as a voice asked something in the background, "Oh, sure, I guess."

Another voice began to speak through the phone, "Mr. Gordon, my brothers and I are playing in your city. No matter what."

The line went dead. Gordon stared at the receiver in disbelief. He had never heard such a deadpan, angry voice before. Sighing, he stood up and looked out his window at the bright lights of the city. It was getting late. His wife would worry…

He grabbed his coat from the hook and locked his office. He walked over to the elevator, but instead of pressing down, he pressed up. The ride to the roof took twenty seconds. Gordon knew. He had counted.

The elevator pinged softly as the doors opened and revealed the dirty stairwell that led to the roof. He climbed the fifteen steps and threw open the door. The cold night wind bit at his face, but he barely noticed it as he strode briskly across the concrete. He automatically glanced over his shoulder to make sure he hadn't been followed.

A large spotlight lay smashed in the shadows: a sad reminder of better days. Gordon approached the spotlight and knelt down to plug it in. This nightly tradition had started the night of the Tipton fire.

Gordon hesitated as he held the plug. _Tonight's the last night. If he doesn't show tonight, I know he's dead_. He almost smiled as the thoughts repeated themselves in his head. He had thought the same repeated message every night since the fire.

His stomach leaped as the plug connected in the socket. The bat signal flickered into life once more. Gordon counted to ten, then turned off the signal. He could not leave it on too long, just long enough to call…if he was there.

A sudden sound caused Gordon's heart to pound, and he whipped around, hope flaring into life…nothing. He was alone on the roof. The night seemed darker and colder as his heart rate settled. Dread surrounded the Commissioner as he felt the gravity of his situation for the first time. He was on his own. Oh, god. How could he do this on his own?

Gordon pressed his palms into his forehead and took a deep breath. Without a second glance, he turned on his heel and walked through the door to the elevator.

--

Alfred looked up at the sky through one of the many windows of the Wayne penthouse. This was his own nightly ritual. The soft light of the bat signal flickered into life. Right on schedule. It was a little distorted, but otherwise as good as new. After ten seconds, the light was extinguished. Right on schedule.

Alfred sighed and turned away from the window. The past week had not been easy on the old butler, and he moved a little slower than usual as he walked towards the master bedroom.

He sat on the bed and looked out the large, wall sized window that seemed to bring the city into the room with him. After a moment of silence, he stood up and walked back out of the room. He paused at the door.

"They haven't forgotten, you know," he said quietly, "No matter how hard you want to believe it."

Without another word, he left the room. A shadowed figure in a chair shifted slightly, allowing the moonlight to gleam off of the white bandages on his head.

"I know," Bruce whispered, fingering the tattered Joker card in his hand and looking at a vandalized copy of the Times. _But for this to work, I need them to._


	19. Serious?

**Wow, sorry I haven't updated in forever. School is ruining my life.**

**Serious?**

"Well boys, welcome to Gotham!"

The brothers eagerly pressed their faces to the windows of the bus to get their first look at the city.

"This place is _awesome_," Joe commented as they entered the forest of skyscrapers.

"Yeah," agreed Kevin. He nudged Nick, "Not even a grouch like you can be unhappy right now."

Nick made a face behind Kevin's back and returned to the window, "Where are we staying?"

"Well," sighed Mr. Smith, "We _did _have reservations at the Tipton, but it looks like that's not gonna work out."

He pointed to the burnt pile of rubble that used to be the Tipton as the bus passed.

"So I've arranged for you boys to stay at the Legacy. It's a new hotel, just built last month. Real high class, owned by Bruce Wayne himself."

The two elder Jonas' high-fived their approval while Nick glowered. Ten minutes later, the bus pulled up to a soaring, beautiful hotel. With its tall, full story windows, it actually looked more like a modern office building.

"Whoa," said Nick, feeling the tiniest bit of excitement flare up in his stomach. He quickly quenched it. _I'm here for Miley. Miley._ There. Nice and miserable again. A team of uniformed bellhops sped over to the bus and began unloading the luggage.

Mr. Smith turned to the boys, "Now, I know you've been cooped up in here for a while, so I'm gonna let you wander for a little bit."

The boys leapt to their feet and began to hurry to the exit.

"But," Mr. Smith held out his arm, blocking the way, "You need to be back here in an hour. And stay around here, some of this city isn't too friendly."

Joe and Kevin rolled their eyes and ran from the bus. Nick trailed after, but instead of following his brothers, he turned down the opposite street. Mr. Smith frowned. Nick really should not be wandering off alone…but what could happen? The hotel was in a very safe part of the city, full of upper class families. What could possibly go wrong?

Nick pulled a floppy hat from his pocket and stuffed it on his head. Accompanied by his huge, expensive sunglasses, he was almost unrecognizable. He strode down the street, heart pounding. _I'm here,_ he thought to himself, _finally._ His hand drifted to his pocket and ran along the odd lump that sat against his leg. _Where are you Joker? I'm ready for you._

Joker leaned against an alley wall, face obscured by a large hat. People watching, along with murder, arson, and robbery, was one of his favorite pastimes. _Tourist, tourist, tourist, fat tourist, very fat tourist, trophy wife, _he labeled as the unaware passed his hiding spot.

He had felt he deserved a short amount of relaxation before the next night. Everything was ready and in place. The last piece of the puzzle was arriving today. A smile crept across his face as a passing girl dropped an ice cream cone and began to cry. _Ah, the simple pleasures in life._

A boy wearing a ridiculous floppy hat and large sunglasses slouched by. _Why so serious?_ Joker cracked his neck and followed the boy with his eyes. He so did hate to see people unhappy…maybe he could cheer up this kid. With a small giggle, Joker swept down the alley to intercept the boy.

The city was putting Nick in a mood. He glowered at a passing dog; he glowered at the street signs; he even glowered at a baby until the mother saw him and hurried the stroller along. He passes a newspaper stand and prepared himself to glower at the owner of the stand, but the headline made him pause: "Jonas Brothers to Perform Tonight". He picked up the paper and read the story.

"The hit teen sensations are scheduled to perform tomorrow night. Although there has been some question to whether or not the band was going make an appearance, it seems that even the Joker can't keep these boys away. Commissioner Gordon of the Gotham PD has personally taken control of the Jonas Brothers' situation, and he will be on the team that patrols the stadium. 'A mouse couldn't get past our blockade, much less a clown,' chuckled one member of the squad."

Nick put down the paper and was turning to leave when he bumped into a tall man.

"Sorry," he mumbled, pushing away.

"No problem kid," the man muttered back.

Something about the man's voice made Nick stop and give the stranger a once over. He wore a purple coat and a hat that obscured his face. _Freak_, thought Nick.

"You look…down," the man said, cocking his head.

"What's it to you?"  
"I don't like it when people are sad. Seriousness brings the world down. More importantly, it brings me down. So let's see a smile, hmm?"

Nick forced a smile. _I need to get away from this creep,_ he thought. He glanced to his side and saw the opening of an alley. _Perfect._

"I gotta go," he said before slipping into the shadows.

The man smiled slightly, waited for Nick to disappear, and then followed him into the alley.

Nick was half-way through when he realized that he was not alone. With a quick glance back, he saw the man from the street following him. Nick quickened his pace, but in an instant, he felt his knees buckle as he was slammed into the wall. One of the man's gloved hands was around Nick's throat.

"Dude, what the heck?" Nick began to scream before the man's other hand covered his mouth.

"Now," Joker growled, "That wasn't _really_ a smile, kid. We're gonna need to fix that." He drew a knife with the hand covering Nick's mouth and brought it to the boy's face.

Nick thrashed back and forth. His glasses and hat fell to the alley floor. With a surprised grunt, Joker lowered his knife.

"Well, well, welly well well," Joker giggled, "What do we have here?"

"Whoever you are, you should know: I'm extremely famous and important!" shouted Nick, "I'm Nick freaking Jonas! Let me go, or my brothers will _kill_ you!"

Joker's mouth broke into an invisible smile, so the brat didn't know who he was.

"Oh, don't worry, Nicky boy. I'm not going to hurt you." Joker released Nick, who fell to the ground gasping. Joker nodded at the panting teen and strode away.

"See you tomorrow night," he called before turning the corner.

Nick rubbed his neck, "Freak!" There. That showed him.


	20. Made You Look

Wow, sorry I haven't updated in forever. Hopefully I'll be better about it without some of the school craziness.

**Made You Look**

"Where the heck is Nick?" Joe asked Kevin. It was the night of the concert, and the boys were on in ten minutes.

"I dunno," Kevin shrugged, "He hasn't been himself during this whole trip." It was true. After the first day and Nick's first unknown encounter with the Joker, the youngest Jonas had kept up his brooding and isolated mood.

"Well, he better get his butt in here before we go on," growled Joe, adjusting his guitar.

"There he is," sighed Kevin, pointing towards the stage door. Nick shuffled toward his brothers.

"Where have you been?" Joe whispered angrily, "We're on in five!"

Nick smiled for the first time since the boys had arrived in Gotham, "I just wanted to make sure I was completely…ready for the show."

Joe shook his head, happy to see his brother out of his funk, "Well, whatever, just don't let it happen again."

"Yeah, it's not like you to be late. Actually you haven't been yourself this entire trip," said Kevin, stuffing his face with last minute cheese cubes.

"Oh, you mean all twenty-four hours we've been here?" Nick smiled again, "now let's do this show." He let out a loud laugh and slid over to the side of the stage.

Kevin shrugged, stuffed another impossible amount of cheese into his mouth, and joined Nick. Joe frowned slightly. This was not like Nick, even if Nick was smiling again. There was something…wrong with the smile.

"Hey, Nick," Joe began. Just as he reached Nick, the lights began flashing in a particularly rousing way, and the fans went wild. Joe sighed and followed his brothers as they ran onstage and began to sing.

Joker leaned against the metal pillars that had been set up as a mock-stadium surrounding the crowd. He surveyed his surroundings. The once proud stadium was gone, replaced by dirt flattened by the feet of a thousand fan girls. The Montana incident had really brought down the house. He smiled at this thought, and then brought the walkie-talkie he was holding to his face.

"Show time, boys. Let's really mess this kid up."

Joker sighed happily as the lights immediately went out, and the "stadium" was thrown into darkness. He heard the screaming of a hundred police walkie-talkies, but with his connections, he would never be found. With a crack of his neck, Joker strode into the darkness.

"What the heck is going on?" Joe blindly hissed to Kevin.

Kevin shrugged, realized Joe could not see him, and then replied, "It got dark."

"Thanks, genius," Joe whispered back. Nick was silent during the chaos. He knew what was happening. And he was ready.

A drum roll echoed throughout the stadium. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and mostly girls," a voice crackled from the intercom, "I give you the man you've all been waiting for. The charming, the hilarious, the amaaaaazing Joker!"

The police surrounding the crowd began to run away from the stage and towards the pillars as a spotlight appeared at the very outskirts of the "stadium".

"All units go! Move, move, move!" screamed the police walkie-talkies as the drum roll became faster and faster until it was just pounding noise. The police reached the pillars, guns drawn.

"Come out with your hands up!" screamed a megaphone.

A purple clad figure stumbled out into the spotlight and stood behind the pillars.

"Freeze!" the megaphone screamed again.

The figure backed away slowly, and the police followed it until they were completely outside of the ring of pillars.

_Something isn't right_, Gordon thought as he held his position by the stage. The drum roll still echoed through the crowd. The "stadium" seemed to shake with the noise. With a jolt of fear, Gordon realized that the "stadium" actually _was_ shaking. With a blast and a groan, the pillars began to fall, forming a wall around the now frantic crowd. The police shouted in confusion as they were cut off from the people they were supposed to be protecting.

With a symbol crash, the drum roll ended. The stadium was silent. A single spotlight illuminated the stage, revealing three terrified boys and one immensely pleased Joker. Joker lightly skipped over to Nick and pried the microphone from his fingers.

"Made you look," Joker snickered.


	21. Surprise!

**Surprise!**

Joker surveyed his surroundings with a thoughtful expression on his face. He slowly walked around the stage as the silent, terrified crowd looked on.

"Ah, so many memories," he said into the mic. He looked around and noticed the Jonas Brothers slowly creeping away.

"Whoa there, boys. The party's just starting. And I like parties. Don't you?" He pointed the microphone at the frozen boys.

"I guess not," Joker said in disappointment, "Well, we have a great show for the rest of you, so…uh…let's have some _fun_."

He surveyed the silent crowd once more, "Come on people! There aren't any police here to hold you back! _Really_ let loose! Go _crazy_!" He let out a short laugh which made the audience jump, and then waved his hand towards the backstage wings. Giant screens lined the back of the stage in order to give the crowd a better view of the stage, but now they began to flicker to a homemade video.

"Wait!" ordered the Joker, "Pause!" The video stopped before anything was clear.

"Where is a, uh…" Joker reached into his coat and pulled out a note card, "a Nick Jonas?"

The three brothers stared at the Joker. Somewhere in the crowd, a voice cried, "We love you, Nick!"

Joker frowned at the crowd and turned back to the brothers, "No? How sweet. Protecting your brother. I guess I'll just kill all of you."

Joker looked at Nick and winked. Nick recoiled in horror then stepped forward, completely stone-faced. Several people screamed but were quickly silenced by Joker's cronies.

"So Nick. I'm guessing you know who I am," Joker said, ready to dive into his actual presentation.

"Yeah," Nick sneered, "You're that maniac."

Joker took a _very_ deep breath and turned from the crowd, "A what?"  
Nick glared at the Joker but did not answer. Joker cracked his neck, and then continued addressing the crowd, "I've created a little…surprise for Mr. Jonas here." He turned to Nick and smiled widely, "I _really_ think you're gonna enjoy this."

Joker waved backstage again, and the video restarted, revealing Joker's happy, smiling face.

"Good evening citizens of Gotham! I decided to drop in on a party that a friend of yours was having…C'mon, Miss Montana, let's put a smile on that face!"

It was the video Joker had taken at the Hannah concert. Nick froze in horror as he watched the video.

"My name is Miley Stewart, not Hannah Montana! Now let me go!"

"Like it, Nick?" Joker whispered to the boy, a completely serious expression on his face.

Nick did not answer, his eyes were glued to the screen.

"Well, Miss Montana. I must say, your concert really, uh, blew me away. But I must admit. Mine was _much_ more entertaining."

Joe and Kevin watched their brother in horror as they saw his face transform into a mask of fury. Nick did not turn from the screen. As the screens showed the explosion of Gotham Stadium, Nick finally cracked.

"No!" he screamed, launching himself at the Joker.

"You didn't like it?" Joker frowned, "Sure, the cinematography was a little shoddy, but—"

He stepped sideways as Nick flew at him. Nick snarled and turned to face Joker again.

"You! You killed her!" Nick reached into his pocket and drew a gun.

"Well, well," Joker smiled softly, "Looks like Nicky boy had a plan of his own." Joker reached into his own pocket and drew his knife.

"Nick, no!" Joe yelled. He ran over to Nick, but Joker grabbed his shirt and brought the knife to Joe's face.

"Nick, Nick, Nicky, Nick," Joker sang, "Was she really _that_ important to you?"

Nick screamed in frustration, "_You_ are the only reason I came here! I came to _kill_ you!"

Joker's face melted, "You came here for _me_? Aw, you shouldn't have." He trailed the knife along Joe's face, leaving a line of red then growled, "You really shouldn't have."

He pushed Joe away, "So, now that we're all…pumped up, we can really start the party."

"Batman will—" Kevin yelled.

"You're a little out of the loop, kid," Joker said, approaching Kevin, "Batman's dead. This is _my_ city." He brought his knife to Kevin's throat.

"Not so fast!" a voice yelled from the crowd.

Joker smiled, "Ah, Commissioner Gordon, so nice of you to join the party."

"Get away from those kids, Joker!" Gordon yelled, trying to push his way onstage.

"I would, but we're all having so much fun!" Joker snapped his fingers, and flames exploded from the edge of the stage, creating a wall of fire between the horrified Commissioner and the Jonas Brothers.

"Now that we have some privacy," Joker smirked, "Let's get down to business."

He ran his finger along the edge of his knife, a deadly smile plastered from ear to ear.

**Well,** **you guessed it. The Jo-Bros are about to get their comeuppence.**


	22. Burnin' Up

**Thanks for sticking with this through the periods of no reviews guys! You rock!**

**Burnin' Up**

Joe and Kevin yelped as the heat from the fire seared their overly expensive jackets.

"Dude," Kevin said irritably, "Do you even know how much this cost?"

Joker ignored him and locked eyes with Nick. "You knew I would come, didn't you kid?" he said quietly, another grin sliding across his face.

Nick nodded, eyes narrowed, "I had a faint idea."

Joker nodded, "You had a plan, didn't you?"

Nick nodded again. Joker sighed dramatically, "Rule one of criminal activity. Never, and I repeat, _never_ make plans. They never work out the way you…well…planned."

Nick growled, "This one seems to be turning out just fine."

Joker threw back his head and laughed, "Right. You against me. With no…_weapon_ or support to speak of."

"Hey," called Joe, "what do you call us?"

Joker looked Joe and Nick up and down, shook his head, and turned back to Nick, "Like I said, no support. But I respect your need for revenge, that's the only reason I'm here, really. Don't you feel…_special_?"

In one bound, Joker grabbed Nick's head and put the knife to his throat. "You know," Joker muttered into Nick's ear, "That little girlfriend of yours, she was _really_ fun, especially when she sold out her friends." He let out a giggle, "But the best part by far was the way she _begged_ for her life."

Powered solely by teen angst, Nick twisted out of the Joker's grasp. The clown turned in surprise and came face to face with Nick. Holding a gun. To his heart.

Joker smiled and began to slowly clap, "Well, well, Nicky. We did think this one through, didn't we?" Nick nodded and held the gun tighter.

"You know," Joker said, slowly edging to the side, "killing is a pretty big commitment. Are you sure you'll go through with it?"

Nick faltered, then screamed, "You killed her! We were in _love_!"

Joker stared, "Give me a break kid, you're fifteen."

"We were in love!" Nick screamed again.

Joker's eyes lit up in a particularly eerie way that he had practiced just that morning, "So, she was the most important thing in your life?"

"Yes!"

"And you'll do anything to avenge her?"

"Yes!"

"Even if," Joker pointed his knife at the other two brothers, "it meant letting the one's you love _now_ die?"

"Joke's on you, freak!" Kevin shouted, "He'd never let you hurt us!"

Joker narrowed his eyes at Kevin, "What's your name?"

"Kevin."

Joker pointed at him, "You're on my list."

Nick paused, staring at the knife. He looked at Joe, then at Kevin, then at the knife, then at his own gun. Then he repeated the process twice more.

"Nick?" Joe called out questioningly.

Nick stared at Joker's knife once again. Without warning, he dived at the Joker and knocked the knife from his hand.

"There!" he panted, "Now what, clown?"

Joker shook his head, a venomous smile creeping from ear to ear, "Bad, bad move kid." Joker shook his sleeve, grabbed the knife that slid out, and threw it with deadly accuracy into Kevin's chest.

"N…n…not…cool," Kevin choked.

"Never find your self on my list, my friend," Joker called as Kevin fell to the ground, clutching the knife handle that protruded from his chest.

"No!" cried Joe, rushing to the felled brother.

Nick was in shock. He looked at the Joker, face pale. "Feel like changing your mind?" Joker asked.

Nick shook his head, hands still clamped to the gun. Joker scooted towards Joe and produced another knife, "You sure?" Nick fired the gun straight at the Joker's unprotected heart.


	23. SOS

**S.O.S**

And missed. Joker, anticipating the shot, stepped sideways. The bullet flew through where the Joker had been one millisecond before and decided that Joe's heart would be a much more preferable home. Joe disagreed.

"Nick," he croaked, beckoning his brother closer even as his eyes grew dim. Nick pushed past Joker and held up his brother.

"What is it?" Nick whipered, tears filling his eyes.

"H...h...hold...on..." He gasped sharply, then collapsed on top of the lifeless Kevin.

Joker looked at Joe with his mouth hanging open, tears filling his eyes. He put his hand over his mouth, but it was too late. The laughter burst free. It echoed shrilly throughout the area, until the panicking crowd beyond the fire began to wonder what was really happening.

"You…you…" snorted Joker, waving a finger at Nick between bursts of laughter, "you just take the cake…you have to be…the worst…the worst revenge-taker in all…history!"

Nick slowly sank to his knees. How did this happen? It was almost as if the Joker predicted that his brilliantly well-thought out plan would fail. The Joker! This was his fault. His fault! He leapt up again.

"Jesus, you never quit, do you kid?" Joker said, wiping tears out of his eyes and managing to smear his war paint, "Dang it. Do you know how long it takes to—"

"Shut up!" yelled Nick. His voice was beginning to get hoarse from all this yelling. Joker smiled but decided to humor his latest target. _This_, he thought merrily, _has been a good day_.

"You've taken everything…everything from me!"

Joker shrugged, "Part of the job."

"Now…now you're gonna die!" Nick took aim once more.

Joker laughed, "Now _that's_ the best one I've heard all night! C'mon Nicky boy, take your best shot!"

"This is for Miley! And Joe!" Nick put his finger on the trigger.

"What about Kevin?" Joker said, not wanting to leave anyone out.

"Fine. And Kevin! Say goodbye, Joker!" Nick shot the gun once more. This time he had him! This time he would not escape!

"Goodbye, oof!" Joker's reply was cut off by a black shape that hurled itself into his side. The shape pushed him clear of the bullet and sat menacingly on his stomach.

"What the hell!" Nick screamed.

Joker's vision cleared, and he squinted to see the shape that was currently crushing his digestive tract. His eyes widened in gleeful awe, and a new smile lit up his face.

"Ah, Bats, coming back from the dead? For _me_?"

Batman growled and pushed Joker harder into the ground, "You're not getting away this time!"

Bruce's muscles screamed out in protest. After such a long period of latency, it was a little hard to get back in the game. Bruce knew that the Joker would not have covered his tracks as carefully if he thought that Batman was dead. He had sat in his room recovering, but mostly he had watched the television for signs of another Joker attack. When he saw the news of Joker's latest escapades, he could not wait any longer. Despite Alfred's pleas, Bruce had suited up and dropped in on Joker's party from the open sky above the stage.

"Oh, you're still doing that whole vigilante thing?" Joker asked, shaking his head, "No can do right now. I'm already spoken for tonight."

Batman looked up in surprise, noticing Nick and the ex-Jonases for the first time.

"I can schedule you in if you really want—"

"Save it," growled Batman, "What's going on here?"

Nick stomped over to Batman and pushed him off the Joker, "Hey, buddy, he's mine!" Nick waved his gun menacingly at the hero. Batman looked back down at Joker who shrugged, "What can I say? I'm a popular guy."

"I'm going to kill him!" Nick shouted. Batman looked back to Joker, who mouthed, _No he's not_.

"Uh, son," Batman said, slowly approaching the troubled teen, "Put down the gun. Killing him won't solve anything."

"How do you know?" cried Nick, tears streaming down his face.

"Trust me. I know."

Nick looked at the gun as if seeing it for the first time, and then looked back at Batman and the Joker, who still lay on the ground. "I guess not," he whispered. Nick looked at the gun closely, then brought it to his own head.

"No!" Batman cried, leaping over Joker to save Nick.

Joker looked genuinely surprised, but tried to mask it with another smile. When nobody noticed it, he tried a laugh, which also went unnoticed.

Nick pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. The boy looked at the gun in shock.

"I think you're missing the bullets," Joker called out helpfully.

"Why can't I do anything right?!" Nick shouted, throwing the gun down. As the gun hit the ground, a bullet fired and buried itself in Nick's foot.

"Damn it!" he yelled, hopping backwards. As he reached the wall of flame, he lost his balance, tripped, tumbled into the fire, and was gone.

Joker and Batman stared at the fire, at a loss for words. Batman was stunned. _How could this have gone so spectacularly wrong? _Joker stood up ad brushed himself off. He put his hand on Batman's shoulder and shook his head.

"And you think _I'm _crazy?"


	24. Sandwich, Anyone?

**Sandwich, Anyone?**

"Batman Returns!" All of the headlines screamed the same message, but Bruce could not tell if the newspapers were a celebration or condemnation of his alter ego. He set the paper down on a glass coffee table and rubbed his head. The previous night's romp with the Joker had not exactly gone as planned. After that crazy kid fell into the fire, the Joker had vanished, leaving Batman standing alone onstage. Surrounded by two dead Jonases.

It had been awkward for everyone when, after the Joker slipped through Batman's fingers, the flames died and the audience saw the "dead" hero. Bruce had leapt into the night before anyone got a clear shot of him, and the only picture the papers had been able to snatch was on the front page. A blurry black shape, just how Bruce liked it.

Bruce smiled as he remembered meeting Gordon on the roof after the fiasco. He had to admit, he had missed the Commissioner, and as much as he had tried to hide it, Gordon had obviously missed Batman as well. Bruce shook his head fiercely, which produced another string of headaches. No time for happy reunions. The Joker was still on the loose, and Bruce' injuries from the Tipton collapse had not completely healed. The hero shivered at the memory of the heat and pain of the collapse, but a sharp knock shook him out of his reverie.

"Breakfast, Mr. Wayne," Alfred called, entering Bruce's room with a tray. The butler glanced disapprovingly at the clock. "Or should I say lunch?"

"Come on Alfred, it's only…" Bruce looked at the clock and groaned, "1 o'clock."

Alfred smiled and handed Bruce the tray, "So, eventful night?" Bruce nodded as he attempted to stuff a piece of toast into his already stuffed mouth. "Did you catch him?"

Bruce stopped shoveling food into his mouth and looked down. Alfred smiled soothingly, "There will plenty more chances Master Wayne. Batman is just getting back in the game."

"That's the thing Alfred," Bruce sighed, wiping his mouth, "You can't take any time outs in this game without all of the rules changing overnight." As Bruce stood up a small cry escaped his lips. His muscles were killing him.

"Am I desperately needed at work today?"

"Not any more than usual," Alfred frowned, "Shall I alert Lucius?" Bruce nodded, turned on the news, and dropped to the ground in a vigorous attempt at breaking his old push-up record. Alfred rolled his eyes at Bruce's already bulging muscles and took the tray to the kitchen.

_30, 31, 32, _Bruce counted mentally as the news droned on in the background, _40, 41…_ "But the big news today is the return of Batman." Bruce sat up and turned up the television. "The vigilante, so recently thought to be dead, made an appearance at the Joker's latest attack. Is the Batman a hero or partner in crime? We have Officer James Patterson here to…"

Bruce turned the television down again and sighed. Playing the "villain" of Gotham after Harvey's death had taken its toll on the hero's nightly scouts of the city. It was hard to rescue someone and then to get hit on the head with a purse as some woman screamed for the "Dent Destroyer" to keep away. Bruce had the purse wounds to prove it.

"And that brings us to Restaurants of Gotham, where we show you the hottest new bars, clubs, and eateries in the city. Opening this month is the 'Subway Station', owned and operated by Jerry Russo, his wife, and their three children. The Subway Station features many varieties of sandwiches, and the Russo's will be here in Gotham to supervise the opening next…" The camera showed a crowd standing in front of a small storefront. One of the people in particular seemed very happy to be there. In fact, his smile seemed to stretch, almost as if…

Bruce turned off the television. He suddenly felt the overwhelming urge for a sandwich.


	25. Important Matters

**Important Matters**

Joker was starving. His had delayed his usual post-operation celebration after the clown's reunion with his nemesis. There was so much to do! So many…not plans, _never_ plans…_surprises_ to think up. Old Batman had been out of the game, and Joker had been changing what little rules that had been left in Gotham. Joker let out a small giggle at this thought and turned out his pockets. Empty. Not that they were ever full. Joker had a certain way with others. People just seemed to throw things at him.

_Including themselves_, thought Joker, recalling his chest's meeting with Batman's body the previous night. Just thinking about his resurrected foe caused another fit of giggles to erupt. A particularly loud rumble caused Joker's thoughts to turn to more important things. Namely his poor, empty stomach.

Even though it was day, the alley Joker strolled down was dark enough for the clown to remove his large hat. It obscured his lovely green hair anyway. _Where to go, where to go_. A stray piece of paper blew passed Joker's head, and he automatically reached up and caught it. After a great deal of smoothing, he realized that it was an advertisement for a new sandwich shop. Apparently the subs were "magically delicious", and Joker was always up for a good magic trick. Memorizing the address, Joker tossed the paper to the ground in front of a "No Littering" sign and changed course for the Subway Station.

His men were not going to be very happy when they discovered that Joker had snatched food without them, not that they would ever say anything. Joker reached into his pocket and jotted down "Bring back biggest sandwich can get hands on. Make sure to eat in front of fat one." It was a little hobby of Joker's to see how far he could push his cronies until they stood up to him, at which point they would receive a knife in their back, or broke, which met with the same result plus a new smile as a bonus. Either way, it was a lose-lose situation for the henchmen and a win-win for the Joker.

As Joker rounded the corner, he saw a group of people standing in front of the place that the Subway Station was located.

"I can't wait 'til this opens," one man said to a girl next to him.

"Only three more days," the girl said back.

Joker's stomach sank. Three days? Three days until he could sink his teeth into the biggest sandwich he could get his hands on? This was unacceptable. _Whoever owns this restaurant has just made the list_, Joker thought darkly. So what if it wasn't fair? Nobody toyed with his hunger and then snatched his treat away. Batman could wait. Revenge was now his number one priority.

Spinning on the spot, Joker noticed a cameraman. Never one to miss a photo-op, Joker grinned broadly at the camera before the operator turned to film another part of the crowd. Joker giggled at the thought of the police watching the news later that day and noticing his cameo. Better yet, what if Batman was watching? _I should have worn my good suit_, mused Joker, thinking of his closet, which was "packed" with an extra pair of shoes and a second purple coat.

Scratching his scars thoughtfully, Joker turned the situation over in his mind. This place was family owned. Perfect. People would get so upset when he destroyed the place, and Joker lived for a good audience. Maybe even his old pal would show up to "save the day", growly voice and all. Joker turned to walk back into the alley. As he entered the shadows, a shiny yellow arch caught his eye. Thinking could wait, his stomach waited for no one.


	26. Do You Believe In Magic?

**I apologize profusely for the obscenely long wait, but I'm hoping to actually start updating regularly again!**

**Do You Believe In Magic?**

Alex Russo stroked her dark brown hair thoughtfully as she gazed intently across the room at her older brother Justin who was dutifully unpacking his suitcase. A slight smirk played across her lips, then with a flick of a concealed wand and a few choice words Justin's neatly folded clothes exploded from the drawer and flew out the window.

"No!" he cried, "My lucky boxers!" He gazed mournfully out the window as a rosy pair of undergarments floated gleefully out of reach and down to the street. "Alex!"

"Uh oh," Alex muttered. _Time to make my exit_. Before she could reach the door, Justin had grabbed her shoulder.

"Hey! Why'd you do that?" Justin exclaimed, "What am I supposed to wear now?"

"Right. I'm sure you'll never live without your…what was it? Your lucky _boxers_?"

"Alex. We're gonna be in Gotham for a week. What am I supposed to do?"

"Don't know, don't care." Alex turned to take a purposefully cocky and practiced stroll out of the room when Justin's scowl vanished and was replaced by a look of pure horror.

"My wand! I just had it! I had just put it down in the suitcase…" Justin stopped and slowly turned to Alex who had decided against her planned exit in favor of a quick dash. "Alex, please say you didn't!"

"Ok, well how was I supposed to know you're a big enough moron to put your wand down in the first place? So really this is your fault." She clapped Justin's shoulder sympathetically, "Tough break bro. See ya!"

"Hold it!" Justin pulled Alex back once more, "We have to find it! Someone could find it! Do you want to be responsible for the destruction of the entire secret world of wizards? Do you?!"

"Wow, dramatic much?" Alex grumbled, "Fine, I'll help you find the stupid wand."

"Good, good. Everything will be fine. We just gotta find it before mom and dad find out."

"Psh, you worry too much," Alex rolled her eyes, "Really, what is the _worst_ thing that could happen?"

***

Joker stared intently down at the Sub Station's flyer, but to no avail. The paper did not mysteriously reveal the location of the Russo family. Curse the laws of reality. The clown clenched a knife in his pocket reflexively and sighed. If only one of his minions was nearby. Meaningless slaughter always calmed him down.

He glanced down at his wrist, realized he was not, in fact, wearing a watch, and sighed again. Why did watches make it so easy to transport very tiny bombs? Obviously this was all Batman's fault. If he hadn't decided to start reversing all of Joker's work the minute he reappeared, Joker would not need to go through so many "watches". A clown had to keep up his reputation.

A loud grumble from under Joker's purple coat informed him of the time: lunch. However, Joker had his sights set on a large sandwich and the mindless destruction of a family. Nothing else would do, not this time. The villain turned back to stare at the people passing the mouth of the alley. Maybe a mugging would…No. Joker shook his head in disgust at the very thought of such a common crime. Bigger prizes awaited, if only he could find the darn family!

Suddenly, Joker's sharp ears, specially trained to pick up sounds of horror, heard the sound of a boy yelling from a window above. Was someone about to jump? Joker eagerly looked up as not to miss any of the fun, or at least to egg the kid on, and received a faceful of lucky boxers.

"Well, I _was_ running low," Joker muttered to himself, thinking of his closet of purple coats and pants. A sharp thud on his head shook the clown out of his clothing fantasy. Joker glared around, looking for the object that had dared touch his oily green hair. What he found was a brown stick lying innocently amidst the trash. With a look that could kill, Joker picked up the stick, then glanced up at the window from which it had fallen.

"Congratulations kid, you just made the list." He swished the stick angrily, then paused to admire the way it sliced through the air. This old stick would make a welcome addition to the clown's pockets. With a final glare at the window, Joker decided that he had had enough for one day. He scooped up the flyer from the filthy ground and tapped it with the stick as he pondered which minion on which to take out his boredom. The flyer kept distracting him from this important decision.

"Where are you, Russos?" Joker growled at the paper as he struck it with the stick. With a bright flash, words suddenly appeared on the paper. With a surprised gasp, Joker dropped the paper then quickly glanced around to make sure no one had witnessed this moment of weakness. He slowly raised the paper to eye level, not believing what he saw. The Russos' city address glowed softly from the flyer. Joker looked down at the stick, and a smile began to creep up his face.

"Oh, I think this is gonna be _fun_."


End file.
